Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Hor?" Today's trio are drier than J.D.Vance's surprise cornholio - "Ouch! No lube?!" - while wearing his demure dinner wig because:  fashun , so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, we have Demi Moore, an old hand at thirst-trapping who first caught our attention in 1982 by showing off her extra-furry chocha when she was only 19 years-old. Whatever it takes, right? I want to know what she fed that thing! For the kiddies in our audience, this was back when vaginas weren't shaved and waxed, but only lightly trimmed, the pubes resembling an upside-down triangle or a jumbo, furry pizza slice, though if I'm being honest, Demi's looked more like a small bear cub about to attack. Roar! I wouldn't want to get on its bad side, would you?  Thinking about a minge-binge? Open wide, but have plenty of dental floss for after.   From there, Demi's sha

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than a crumbling wine cork between an overflowing Dumpster and a leased Chevy Trax behind an off-ramp 7-11, so they need all the moisture they can get. First, we have perpetual thirsty gal, Gwyneth Paltrow , who's an expert at gaining attention, what with her vagina-scented candles (did she ever say whose vagina it smelled like? Was it  Oprah's vagina? Justin Timberlake's ?  That Damn Judi Dench's ?). Then there's her instructions on how to yawn properly (yes, she insists, you're doing it wrong; I'm assuming it's all about opening wide-wide-wide, like giving a blowie to The Hammaconda ); how to speak kind words to water before drinking it (to encourage it's "good molecular structure") (huh?); and how to pump oxygen with a catheter up your b-hole, followed by a deep, spiritually-uplifting coffee enema (the latte