► We all have woken up hungover in places that either: 1) we'd rather forget; or 2) can't remember how we got there. The character in this story managed to do both in grand style. A racoon broke into a liquor store to get an early start on the office holiday party season. It all happened at an Ashland, Virginia liquor store. Shocking that it wasn't Florida. The store was closed but the ringtail bandit found a way in. Once inside, it headed straight for the finest tonics: scotch and whiskey. No beer, Boone's Farm, or cheap swill for this critter.  After breaking a few bottles, it indulged in the sweet nectar while re-creating Tammy Cruise's bartending skills in "Cocktail". It then went on a rampage, breaking more stuff and drinking more hooch until it finally passed out on the bathroom floor like White House DUI hire, Pete Hegseth after a state dinner. Good thing the racoon was alone cause had it brought friends along I'm betting they would have d...

  ►Zachery Ty Bryan (44) best known for his role in "Home Improvement" and having comic book Little Orphan Annie eyes, was arrested again. This is his 6th arrest in five years. He's on a first-name basis with police. At the rate he's racking up arrests he will be eligible for premier status. That will entitle him access to the express line for booking, his pick of a cell mate, and first dibs on the bunk. Membership does have its privileges. Zach's 6th arrest was for violating probation from a prior conviction for domestic violence. He's being held without bail at Eugene, Oregon.  But wait! His arrest comes with a bonus. His fiancee, Johnnie Faye Cartwright (32) was also arrested at the same time. She's facing charges that include DUI, reckless endangerment, and other stuff. She tried to run over Zach (with the kids in the backseat) and ended up in a ditch. Awe, ain't love grand. The couple not only share a passion for breaking the law but also collecti...

     ► "Star Search", the original "America's Got Talent", is being dusted off from whatever Hollywood crypt it's been languishing in. The original aired from 1983-1985 and was hosted by Ed McMahon. It featured 8 talent categories including female and male singers, comedian, group vocal, and spokesmodel. Over the years, attempts have been made to make FETCH happen again including a 2003-2004 reboot with Arsenio Hall. It lasted one year.  In the original version, contestants competed for $100k prize. The losers were sent home with a year's supply of Rice-A-Roni and a big "womp-womp". Some of losers ended up becoming household names. The list of losers include Aaliyah (RIP), Alanis Morissette, LeAnn Rimes, Britney Spears, Christine Aguilera, Rosie O'Donnell, Usher, Justina Timberlake (Govt Name:  Justin Randall), Drew Carey, and Beyonce (who performed as part of a group, Girls Tyme). I'm willing to bet a case of beer that Tina Knowles cam...

     ► Jon Gosselin (48), ex-reality TV thespian, ex-husband of the original Karen (Kate Gosselin), and fan boy of all things Ed Hardy, got married! The lucky gal is Stephanie Lebo (39), a former beautician. I can see why it's "former: from the pic below. Jon & Stephanie dated for 4 years before he decide to put a ring on it. Only 2 of his 8 kids attended the wedding. He's estranged from the other 6. Jon admitted to using ChatGPT to write his vows because "he don't write so good". Dang...using AI write your vows...that's info I would have kept to myself assuming I was THAT stupid do it in the first place. And, if I was that stupid, I sure as hell would not admit it to ET News & People Magazine. Sheesh. No wonder his ex Kate G was bothered with his breathing. Anyway, congrats to Mr & Mrs Ed Hardy. Hannah's expression below is priceless. Now that's classic IDGAF.   Read More    L to R: Hannah Gosselin, Stephanie Lebo, Jon Gosselin, and C...

    ► Black Friday is a few days away. For those of you who partaking in this capitalism holiday, Oprah Winfrey's Favorite Things is here to make you feel like shit since you can't afford most of what's on it. Actually this year she's including some affordable gifts. But in this economy her definition of affordable means gifts whose prices do not have a comma.  I went to her website to see what she's peddling. What shocked me was her photo. Damn...she looks like a snow globe bobblehead that should be on a dashboard of a taxi cab. Below are some of crap she's promoting this year (aka pay for play). Anyhoo, I'm baffled about the $32 chocolate chip cookies. They look like sawdust...and probably taste like it too. And $99 for a scarf? Unless that scarf has magical Harry Potter powers that makes Miss O disappear, I'd rather spend my money paying bills.  Read More  Photo:  Oprah Winfrey Magazine.com Comment: Now that you've seen some of O's Favorite T...

  ► I'm not into trends these days. Frankly, most of them suck. In the era I grew up, we had kick ass trends that included big glam rock hair, acid washed jeans, leg warmers, and mullets. When I heard of "danglecore" I thought it was planking's idiotic cousin. I visualized people dangling off  buildings, or highway overpasses, grain silos, or parking ramps. NOPE!  Danglecore refers to people dangling cutesy charms and stuffed animals on their backpacks, purses, jeans, coats, etc. Anywhere you can dangle an overpriced or bedazzled knick knack. The trend got its start with Labubus....which is this decade's Beanie Babies. Even fashion houses and the rich are fawning over danglecore. Fendi is selling $1,000 charm in the shape of bowl of fettuccine; Bottega Veneta a $650 leather kitty; and Gucci a $850 charm.   Read More Comment : Pfft...motorcyclists and the dive bar leather crowd have been doing danglecore for decades with wallet chains. So have janitors with 80 ke...

    I've missed you dumplings! My massive work project has kept me away from snarking on celebs.  Things are starting slow down (a bit), so I hope to resume by normal posting schedule starting next week. Fingers crossed. Okay, let's get to it. ► Singer and actress Rumer Willis...(I laughed as I typed that), uploaded an IG video of her strolling in the woods and complaining about how hard her life is as a single parent to her 2 year old daughter. BTW, Rumer is the spawn of Bruce Willis & Demi Moore. She's lived a life of privileged and wealth. Anyhoo, through a flood of tears that raised the sea levels more than all the glaciers in the world spontaneously melting, Rumer  whined and sobbed about the hardships of raising a kid on her own since she split from her boyfriend. She concluded her "Woe Is Me" audition video for  martyrdom status by giving the camera a thumbs up. The internet had no sympathy for the heaping pile of whine casserole Rumer served wit...