Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" presents urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from D'Hermitage! ---------------------------------------------- Peckers! Welcome to the virgin issue of "Morning Wood," the latest addition to the manor where we start your day in green - meaning nature matters, the birds and the bees, the moss and the trees, famous people adjacent, and some-such morning activities. But not the numbered ones! We are not savages after all. I know, I know, when you think morning wood, Judi Dench is not what comes to mind, but today, we change that. Why-the-trunk-not? Because Judi Dench (Dame to the monarchists), loves wood all day long. Yes, the living one. Judi Dench is a hor for trees! Shush your hor mouth you say? Au contraire. She has lots of trees and other vegetation, and she names her trees in memory of her friends. I don’t know how the Linnaean nomenclature peeps feel about that, but she’s...

M. Shadows - American singer, founding member of Avenged Sevenfold - 45 Rico Rodriguez - American actor - 28 Blake Michael - American former actor, businessman and journalist - 30 Lil Uzi Vert - American rapper and singer-songwriter - 31 Victoria Azarenka - Belarusian professional tennis player - 37 Alexis Knapp - American actress and singer - 37 Zelda Williams - American actress, director, producer, writer - 37 Charlie Carver - American actor and writer - 38 Ruston Kelly - American singer-songwriter - 38 Evgeni Malkin - Russian professional ice hockey player - 40 Yola - English singer-songwriter, musician and actress - 43 B.J. Novak - American actor, comedian, and writer - 47 Zac Brown - American singer, songwriter, and musician - 48 Will Champion - English musician and songwriter, Coldplay drummer - 48 Annie Parisse - American actress - 51 Eve Best - English actress and director - 55 Ben Chaplin - British actor - 57 Fatboy Slim - English musician, DJ, and record producer - 63...

 

Kate Bush - English singer-songwriter, record producer, and dancer - 68 Joey King - American actress - 27 Finneas O’Connell - American singer-songwriter, record producer, and actor - 29 Diana Vickers - English singer-songwriter and actress - 35 Eliot Sumner - English singer-songwriter and actor - 36 Nico Tortorella - American actor and model - 38 Gina Rodriguez - American actress - 42 Jessica Alves - Brazilian-British television personality - 43 Yvonne Strahovski - Australian actress - 44 Hope Solo - American former soccer player - 45 April Bowlby - American actress and model - 46 Celeste Ng - American writer and novelist - 46 Misty May-Treanor - American retired professional beach volleyball player - 49 Jaime Pressly - American actress, fashion designer, and model - 49 Hilary Swank - American actress and film producer - 52 Elvis Crespo - American merengue singer - 55 Tom Green - Canadian-American comedian, show host, actor, filmmaker and rapper - 55 Christine Taylor - American actre...

With 45% of your votes, Marla Hooch Kylie Jenner takes the top Shitbag spot this month. She is followed by Gwynocide (30%), Fallon (17.5%) and Taylor and Travis took up the rear with 7.5%.  Thanks for your votes and we'll see you real soon for July's roundup!

Whoa, "Star Trek: The Motion Picture's" out (and it's got the whole cast of the old tv show!). So is a new movie called "Alien" (which looks scary as all get-out). But I'm really kinda excited to see "The Muppet Movie!" Let's hop in the Lincoln and hit the cineplex, maybe we'll hear that big hit by Peaches & Herb on the way there: And whatever we decide to see, let's have fun, guzzle pop and Raisinets and talk about whatever we want to, just like it's Open Post! Photo Credit: AK

Wanya Morris - American singer, member of Boyz II Men - 53 Cait Fairbanks - American actress and singer-songwriter - 33 Génesis Rodríguez - American actress - 39 Kaitlyn Black - American actress - 43 Rachel Miner - American actress - 46 Danger Mouse - American musician and record producer - 49 Josh Radnor - American actor and filmmaker - 52 Stephen Dorff - American actor - 53 James Otto - American singer-songwriter - 53 Ato Essandoch - American actor - 54 Wil Wheaton - American actor and writer - 54 Jonah Falcon - American actor and tv presenter - 56 Timothy Omundson - American actor - 57 Rodney Allen Rippy - American former child actor and tv personality - 58 Cynthia Rowley - American fashion designer - 58 Martina McBride - American country music singer-songwriter and record producer - 60 Alexandra Paul - American actress, health coach, and former model - 63 Danielle Staub - American tv personality - 64 Ken Burns - American filmmaker - 73 Tim Gunn - American author, academic, ...

Here's Miley Cyrus in a photoshoot for the latest edition of Wonderland magazine. The pics, which show the pop star in various states of undress and ennui, were taken by Mario Sorrenti. So much passion! So much sex! Credit: Mario Sorrenti/Wonderland

Richard Wright - English keyboardist and songwriter, co-founder of Pink Floyd - (1943-2008) Bradley Simpson - British singer-songwriter, member of The Vamps - 31 Cher Lloyd - English singer - 33 Harry Kane - English professional soccer player - 33 Soulja Boy - American rapper and record producer - 36 Alexandra Chando - American actress and director - 40 Nolan Gerard Funk - Canadian actor and singer - 40 Dustin Milligan - Canadian actor - 41 John David Washington - American actor and former professional football player - 42 Dhanush - Indian actor and filmmaker - 43 Tom Pelphrey - American actor - 44 Billy Aaron Brown - American actor - 45 Jacoby Shaddix - American singer-songwriter, rapper, founding member Papa Roach - 50 Afroman - American rapper and singer-songwriter - 52 Elizabeth Berkley - American actress - 54 (born in 1972 not 1974) Hannah Waddingham - English actress, singer and tv presenter - 52 Noma Dumezweni - British actress - 57 Daniela Mercury - Brazilian singer-so...

Greeting music sloots, and welcome to another edition of Manor Music Monday, today with a little hi-dee for your ho-dee . We could all use that, couldn't we? It's the dead of summer, the world is broiling and even Tan Mom - yes, her - has stepped back from extreme suntanning. So what's one to do? Visit the myriad of Manor nighteries, of course, because in addition to their usual giggles and debauchery, they're all gloriously air-conditioned. Tonight, be sure to swing by the after-hours "Two in the Pink!" music and pancake lounge - with real Canuck maple syrup! - because DJ Li'l Scratch will be spinning tunes from a true musical giant. Yes, none other than Cab Calloway, one of those evergreen legends many people take for granted. In Cab's case, that's too bad, because there's no more joyous jazz legend than Cab, nor one so equally talented and groundbreaking in his live performances. Also, fun fact: he was listed as Ja'net Dubois' biolo...

Andrew McMaster - Scottish musician songwriter, cofounder of The Motors Alyvia Alyn Lind - American actress - 19 Winnie Harlow - Canadian model and actress - 32 George Shelley - English singer, actor and an ex-member of Union J - 33 Jordan Spieth - American professional golfer - 33 Tory Lanez - Canadian rapper, singer, and songwriter - 34 Cheyenne Kimball - American singer-songwriter and guitarist - 36 Nick Hogan - American reality tv personality - 36 Lou Taylor Pucci - American actor - 41 Max Scherzer - American professional baseball player - 42 Taylor Schilling - American actress - 42 Heidi Gardner - American actress and comedian - 43 Blair Redford - American actor - 43 Martha Madison - American actress - 49 Jonathan Rhys Meyers - Irish actor, model and musician - 49 Ryan Michelle Bathe - American actress - 50 Alex Rodriguez - American former professional baseball player, businessman - 51 Pete Yorn - American singer, songwriter and musician - 52 Cassandra Clare - American aut...

Ever since Reagan welcomed Evangelicals, it's only gotten worse.  Still, there's a few  signs of hope  - no, really - so fingers crossed. Art Credit: Steve Sack/Cagle Cartoons

Greetings, Peckerites! It's that time again, time to do a shallow dive into the life of a celebrity or would-be celebrity. This week we feature the literally dashing Jogging Jack Sparrow . Now that's staying in character! Runners are weird people. Some are smug, some are serious, some are vegans, and some, it seems, are pirates. Racing in costume has a long and amusing history, but nobody does it better, more thoroughly, than Jogging Jack Sparrow.  With 340,000 followers on Instagram, Jack is a regular at RunDisney events, with fans spotting him year after year. That's genuine celebrity cred. He even has his own scandal: apparently some Disney Adults think consuming alcohol sets a very un-Disneylike tone. One has to ask: have they seen the movies? Do they even know who Jack Sparrow is?   Every runner knows hydration is crucial to performance. What kind of performance definitely depends on what kind of hydration. Best to stock up! Photo Credit: Getty Images

Roger Taylor - English musician, songwriter, singer and drummer of Queen - 77 Elizabeth Gillies - American actress and singer - 33 Taylor Momsen - American singer, songwriter, model, and former actress - 33 Bianca A. Santos - American actress - 36 Caitlin Gerard - American actress and filmmaker - 38 Francia Raisa - American actress - 38 Monica Raymund - American actress - 40 Grace Byers - Caymanian-American actress - 42 Matt Shaw - American singer-songwriter, half of Matt and Savanna - 46 Tamyra Gray - American actress, singer-songwriter - 47 Eve Myles - Welsh actress - 48 Kate Beckinsale - English actress - 53 Chris Harrison - American tv and game show host - 55 Cress Williams - American actor - 56 Jason Statham - English actor - 59 Jeremy Piven - American actor - 61 Sandra Bullock - American actress and producer - 62 Gary Cherone - American singer-songwriter - 65 Nana Visitor - American actress - 69 Dorothy Hamill - American former figure skater - 70 Susan George - English a...