EVENING NIGHTCAP: Brooklyn Is At It Again. Uncross Your Legs - Basic Instinct Reboot Is Coming.

 

 

► Brooklyn Beckham, the Jeopardy answer to "Worthless Nepo Kids", is courting culinary controversy with his latest fake chef stunt. I'm calling it a stunt because his knowledge of the culinary arts can fit inside a shot glass. He thinks Thermador is Thor's younger brother. While sunning on his yacht off a Mediterranean harbor, BB decided to multi-task by showing how he cooks pasta while being an eco-warrior and peddling his Cloud 23 sauce that doubles as a hair shampoo bottle. He scooped sea water into a pot to cook the pasta. BB failed to realize his yacht is anchored in a harbor where other yachts and boats are parked. Parked vessels leak diesel fuel into the water, dump sewage and other nasty stuff. The internet was quick to point this out to boy genius, reminding him that using sea water is a good way to contract ecoli and water borne ailments. Even if he was out in the middle of the ocean without the issue of nearby yachts dumping their junk (looking at you Jeff Bozo and Leo), using sea water for pasta is waaaaay too salty. You don't cook pasta at home with a brick of salt in the water. Dumbass. Also, the oceans of today are not the same as 500 years ago when they weren't being used as floating landfills.  Read More

Brooklyn Beckham using sea water to make pasta, 2025. Photo: Brooklyn Beckham IG / Yahoo.com

Comment:  I wouldn't eat anything made by this dingus. And I've eaten gas station sushi. I want BB to go on a million dollar glamping trip to show how to make a salad from moss, tree bark, and dead leaves. If you're going to be stupid, at least make it entertaining. If this moron really wanted to be a chef he would go to culinary school. But he's too lazy and entitled to put in the work. It's one failed venture after another for this man of leisure. At least he married into billionaire wealth.

 

► Director and screenwriter Joe Eszterhaus (80) who gave us Flashdance, Basic Instinct, Sliver, Showgirls, and Jagged Edge is dusting off his typewriter to reboot Basic Instinct. The 1992 movie starred Sharon Stone as a femme fatale crime writer and Michael Douglas as a detective. To capitalize on Basic Instinct being a box office hit, Eszrterhaus wrote a  1993 sequel called Sliver, with Sharon and Billy Baldwin. It was a colossal failure and a piece of shit. Then, in 2006, Basic Instinct 2 came out with Sharon Stone and David Morrissey. It was an even bigger pile of shit than Sliver, earning 6% Rotten Tomatoes.  Eszterhaus left Hollywood years ago and has been living in Cleveland, Ohio. Um, I can think of a million better places to live if I had his kind of money. Anyhoo, in an interview with The Wrap, he said he and Amazon-MGM agreed on $4 million for him to write the reboot. He said the film will be anti-woke meaning that, " dialogue-wise she (main character) will be open about her sexuality, character-wise she will be raunchy at times, funny, iconoclastic and all of those things". No word if Sharon Stone (67) will reprise her role a third time. That is, unless the movie takes place at an assisted living complex or at the The Villages in Florida. I hear residents at The Villages are as horny as teenagers with raging hormones.Read More 

Joe Eszterhaus with promo poster. Photo: The Wrap

Comment:  Damn, get a clue Joe, no one is asking for ANOTHER reboot / refresh / rehash. The last 2 were mega flops. Then again,  I don't fault him for taking the $4 million Amazon-MGM is paying him to crank out some crap. He's 80 yr old and probably doesn't give a damn anymore. A check is a check. If Sharon is in this third-time-is-hopefully-the-charm to resurrect the franchise, I predict it will be in the role of being a mentor to a young coming crime writer who will follow her path. I can see Sydney Sweeney being cast in this mess. She's currently Hollywood's "Flavor of the Month" and is knee deep in business with Jeff Bozo and Amazon to launch a lingerie line.