Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than a crumbling wine cork between an overflowing Dumpster and a leased Chevy Trax behind an off-ramp 7-11, so they need all the moisture they can get. First, we have perpetual thirsty gal, Gwyneth Paltrow , who's an expert at gaining attention, what with her vagina-scented candles (did she ever say whose vagina it smelled like? Was it  Oprah's vagina? Justin Timberlake's ?  That Damn Judi Dench's ?). Then there's her instructions on how to yawn properly (yes, she insists, you're doing it wrong; I'm assuming it's all about opening wide-wide-wide, like giving a blowie to The Hammaconda ); how to speak kind words to water before drinking it (to encourage it's "good molecular structure") (huh?); and how to pump oxygen with a catheter up your b-hole, followed by a deep, spiritually-uplifting coffee enema (the latte

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than a months-old dead opossum on the side of the road, s o they need all the moisture they can get. First up, we have Richard Dreyfuss , a phlegmatic, has-been actor who happily engages in "consensual seduction rituals," as he cheerfully termed it after being accused of whipping out his gherkin to a barely 20 year-old female writer in a studio trailer . "I remember my face being brought close to his penis,” said the writer. “The idea was that I was going to give him a blow job. I didn’t, and I left.” Those writers, so uptight.  Swing, baby, swing! But maybe don't swing when it comes to Richard's son, Harry , who in 2017 claims that his penis was groped and fondled through his pants when he was an underage teenager by none other than  Kevin Spacey,  all while an unwitting Richard was in the same room. The company you keep, amirite? On