As someone who recently purchased a home, I can confirm that the process of looking for, finding and finally purchasing a place is exhausting, sometimes hair-raising and even ugly. Yet no one does ugly + real estate like mom-shaming, racist shoe wear designer and "American Idol" judge, Katy Perry (also known as a pop singer whose last hit song was well over a decade ago). As you may recall, in 2014, Katy decided to buy a historic, sprawling Los Angeles convent, The Immaculate Heart of Mary, only to find herself embroiled in a stinging series of years-long lawsuits between herself, The Archdiocese of Los Angeles, another prospective buyer, and several aging, retired nuns, who did not want to sell to Katy, mainly since they were still living there and did not want to be homeless.
Perhaps any sane person might have said, "This is a big ol' cluster-fuque, no thank you" and walked away. But not our Katy! She persisted. The public spats and courtroom fights became so volatile, and, yes, ugly, that 89 year-old nun Sister Catherine Rose Halzman, who vainly begged Katy to stop her lawsuits, collapsed and died of a heart attack just after a tense judicial proceeding. Which prompted Sister Catherine's fellow nun, 82 year-old Sister Rita Callanan, to tearfully cry out, "Katy Perry has blood on her hands!" After many protracted legal battles, Katy merrily skipped away from the deal in 2017, though it's not clear why. But at least she showed those pesky nuns who's the champion and who can roar, amirite?
Since that time, Katy has married Orlando Bloom, an actor who hasn't had much of a career lately, but once manfully threw a punch at known tough guy, Justin Bieber - and missed by a mile (prompting the virile Bieber to exclaim, "What up, bitch?). Pictured above measuring his true level of interest in Katy, Orlando recently joined her in her latest round of real estate ugliness. This time they're battling Carl Westcott, an 84 year-old Santa Barbara resident who wants to halt the sale of his 15 million dollar home to Katy and Orlando. Why? Because at the time he was approached to sell by Katy and Orlando, he'd been unable to properly review the contracts he'd signed since he was "on several intoxicating, pain-killing opiates," his lawyer said, adding, "He's of unsound mind and not competent to give his free, voluntary or intelligent consent."
Perhaps any sane person might have said, "This is a big ol' cluster-fuque, no thank you" and walked away. But not our Katy - and not Orlando, either - who swiftly responded that she is "not willing to walk away from purchasing Mr. Wescott's home and he is obligated to complete the sale." In fact, things are starting to get so tense and acrimonious that Katy and Orlando are filing lawsuits, Wescott's lawyers are filing countersuits, and it's all expected to be resolved - or not! - in an upcoming legal proceeding. Because nothing shoots across the sky like a firework like suing and ruining the lives (allegedly!) of a heavily medicated, mentally-addled oldster and two long-retired nuns, one of whom kicked the bucket as the lawsuits dragged on. But then, as Katy's lyrics go, "She eat your heart out like Jeffrey Dahmer! Woo-woo!" If this deal doesn't go through, I'm sure there's a Senior Assisted Living Center nearby she can nab. Photo credits: LA Times, AKM-GSI, CoverGirl, CobraTeam/Backgrid
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