Queen Of Our Times: A Review By Ecce Homo (Aka AK)!

The Queen is the most famous figure in our national life and arguably in international life, too; her face is among the most reproduced images in history. This is probably the best book ever written about QEII, but honestly, it's only for the completists. It's gigantic - I got the updated version from 2022 - and there's so much minutiae and so many effin' personages involved that it would probably confuse most people. I genuinely enjoyed it but I have a thing for history. 

"As of this writing, there is just one significant royal record which is not QEII's. That is due to change. In May 2024, she will have overtaken both King Bhumibol of Thailand and France's boy king, Louis XIV, to become history's longest reigning sovereign. Yet, as explained in this book, she has no interest in fame. And so after years of familiarity, we are still left asking the question: 'What is she really like?' It is the great paradox of Elizabeth the II, and it has served her well. This book, I hope, provides some answers." 

So begins the updated 2022 version of the book Queen Of Our Times, by Robert Hardman (which is the hottest name since Richard Cox, a prodigiously endowed coworker who once pulled his enormous flaccid cock out while we were waiting for the service elevator and grabbed my hand and flopped that massive black dick on it--I mean, it was MEATY (think Cutler X). But I digress.

In the introduction, the author writes of Barack Obama meeting QE II. 

"Even for a Nobel prize-winning leader of the free world this had been one of the great nights of his life. Back in his suite at Buckingham Palace, the President simply wanted to savor the moment. It wasn't the Midas-like display of George IV's gold and silver tableware collection or the quality of the Echézeaux Grand Cru 1990 Domaine de la Romanée which made this such an exceptional occasion. It was the rapport he had formed with this host who could talk with such authority about so many of his predecessors...The following day, Obama would become the first U.S. President in history to address both Houses of Parliament in the exalted setting of Westminster Hall. 

"'Obama wanted to offer a broad defence of Western values,' his senior aide Ben Rhodes recorded afterwards, 'But first he - like anyone who's ever had dinner at Buckingham Palace-wanted to talk about his evening.' 'I really love the Queen,' Obama mused. 'She's just like Toot, my grandmother. Courteous. Straightforward.  All about what she thinks. She doesn't suffer fools.'

"At which point there was an interruption. It was a Palace butler bringing news of an intruder. 'Mr. President, pardon me, there's a mouse.' Without blinking, the President replied: 'Don't tell the First Lady.' The butler assured him that all would be done to catch the unwanted guest. 'Just don't tell the First Lady,' he repeated. As Rhodes recalls: 'He didn't care, except for the fact that Michelle Obama was terrified of mice.'

"Bundled off to bed in a house with vermin, Obama might have been forgiven for viewing his stay at the palace as something of a disappointment. In fact the experience reinforced his regard for one of the most impressive world leaders he encountered in his presidency."

It explains why, in her tenth decade, the Queen was not, in any sense, in the twilight of her career. "I think it's because, in a very fragmented media, news and celebrity landscape, Her Majesty is a constant," says Lord McDonald. This echoes something I read a few years ago, about Scandinavian royalty, that the purpose of a constitutional monarch is to provide a sense of stability for the public, despite changes in government and various ruling parties - that there has to be someone who is steadfast in representing the nation, whatever else (politically, economically, culturally) is going on. 

This book is too voluminous to excerpt at length, so here's some salient facts: Elizabeth the II was born on 21 April 1926, daughter of King George V. She worked diligently during WWII to serve her country. When her father died in 1952 she acceded to the throne at age 25. She married Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh in 1947. He was handsome and quite the flirt and he had an interestingly convoluted background. He was both Greek and Danish royalty, and he was related to several German royal families, and he was even related to the Romanovs of Russia (so much so that his DNA was used to identify the remains of Tsar Nicholas II's brother George, which was then matched to Nicholas' remains). They had 4 children: Charles, Anne, Andrew and Edward.

Hers was the longest reign of any British monarch, and as England's status as an empire (and its renown and economy) waxed and waned over the decades, she remained steadfast in upholding her standards and conduct. She was not perfect, not at all. But she took her job seriously, and she worked at it. Duty motivated her. She died on September 8, 2022, at the age of 96. And here it's time to cut the chronology short. She was so long-lived and weathered so many historic events that a recitation of it would be mind-boggling to recount here. So I'm just going to give some fascinating quotes from the book (I've marked all these pages by turning down the corner), and a summation of the book at the end.

"'One secretary ruefully remembers a glib remark, very early on in his career, as he accompanied the Queen to a gathering of accountants: 'There was a reception for the Commonwealth Auditor's Association and I said to the Queen that this must be quite a boring one for her. She shredded me. 'This is not boring. This is interesting and important because these are the people bringing up the standards and fighting corruption in some really difficult countries. They need the support and encouragement they get from me and this operation.'"

In one of the earliest chapters the author describes Queen Elizabeth's 1st meeting with her future husband: 

"Among those deputed to entertain the girls was 18 year old Cadet Captain Philip of Greece. Crawfie (her governess and beloved friend) would later recall how the 13 year old Lilibet was transfixed by this 'fair-haired boy, rather like a Viking'...'How good he is, Crawfie, how high he can jump.' Years later, John Wheeler-Bennett's biography of George VI was approved by the Queen, after careful scrutiny. It includes the following line about Prince Philip. She could have removed it, had it been inaccurate. She chose not to. Wheeler-Bennett's words, therefore, come with unimpeachable authority: "This is the man with whom Princess Elizabeth has been in love since their first meeting."

Skipping around a bit, I just picked up the book and it fell open to this delightful anecdote from the mid-70s: 

"On the 3rd day of the tour Prince Philip was woken at 5am, to be told that a gunman had just attempted to kidnap Princess Anne. As she was returning to Buckingham Palace, her car had been forced off the road. The driver of the other car ordered the princess to get out, demanding a ransom of 2 million pounds. She replied 'Bloody likely, I haven't got 2 millions pounds.' He fled, nonplussed by her sangfroid. As the Princess later explained to her biographer 'I was so annoyed he tore the sleeve out of my new dress, it was a good dress.'" I kind of love her for that remark.

Back to QEII: for her visit to the United States for the Bicentennial in 1976, she made this rather marvelous speech: "'I speak to you as the direct descendant of George III. He was the last Crowned Sovereign to rule in this country' adding that July 4th 1776 had taught the British a valuable lesson. 'Had it not been for the Founding Fathers and that great act in the cause of liberty, we could never have transformed an Empire into a Commonwealth.' 

"On people being honoured by her she says: 'The system does discover people who do unsung things and I think that's very satisfactory. People need pats on the back sometimes, it's a very dingy world otherwise.' And her famous quote about Margaret Thatcher at dinner: 'She stays too long and talks too much. She has lived too long among men.'"

The book's updated version even goes into detail about everything going on about Megxit. I have nothing to say about them, really. I don't like either of them but the hatred they engender from people online is disturbing. I think William and Kate will do a fine job when they grow into their roles, but who knows if that will even happen? "King" Charles is already a massive disappointment, sour and petty, and he has none of the majesty and grace and light touch of his late mother. So we shall see. But honestly, it doesn't seem too promising.

One aspect of QEII's personality that pops up repeatedly throughout the book is that she was rarely sentimental. Also, she was not a hugger (in fact, there were only a few people among her staff that were allowed to touch her, in any circumstance). As a non-hugger myself, I think that's absolutely fine. And she wasn't some stereotypical "sweet little doddering old lady." She was smart and strong and very observant. She noticed everything. Plus she had a very dry sense of humor. 

One caveat: the author is very partisan. He's not only a fan of the late Queen, he was a friend of hers and very pro-monarchy. That doesn't bother me though, because he had access where other biographers have not, and it gives an intimacy and immediacy to the book. I do think it's interesting that the three greatest rulers in England's history have all been women. Elizabeth I, Victoria (who was an asshole imperialist but extremely intelligent and wily--hell, even Bismark was stunned by her acumen) and Elizabeth II. She was one of the last of the greats. Let me know if you agree or disagree, I'm interested in anyone's opinions.

And here, just because I love it so much, is the 1st Christmas chat that was televised by the Queen. She's measured, intelligent and thoughtful. I wouldn't say I'm pro-monarchy (constitutional monarchy is cool, I get why it exists, but quit letting them get so much taxpayer money, and maybe cut them down from 7 palaces to 2). But I do like tradition and people loved her. She grew up with her people, she served during WWII, tried to do her best and she grew old along with her fellow countrymen.

Photo Credits: Pegasus Books