EVENING NIGHTCAP: Reboot Of Wizards Of Waverly Place. Reese Grosses Out Fans. Ron Drops Out. The Razzies Nominations!

 

 

► Another day, another reboot announcement.  The Mouse House (Govt Name: Disney) will be rebooting the TV series, "Wizards Of Waverly Place".  If you're not familiar with the show, it's about 3 siblings who are wizards in training while trapezing the complexities of being teenagers. Those teenage complexities can be tricky - such as making sure the parents don't know about the illegally downloaded porn, picking up a secret vaping habit, skipping school to hang out a outside the mini mart. The original show aired from 2007 - 2012. So far only 2 of the original cast have signed up:  David Henrie and Selena Gomez.  David Deluise (who played the dad) had no idea a reboot was in the works. He was shocked when he heard from fans and his reaction was, "what reboot". Sounds like either Disney may not want him back or he missed an email.  Anyway, no word on what the plot of the reboot will be.  Read More

Photo: TheDirect.com

Comment: Duh...of course Selena signed up for the reboot. Selena will sign up for anything including the opening of an envelope. Selena's career was on it's way to obscurity but then she got a lucky break by being cast in Only Murders In The Building. If if wasn't for that career resurrection, she would either be hosting a game show or doing dinner theater at Branson, Missouri.

► Reese Whitherspoon decided to gross everyone out by eating snow she scrapped off a vehicle to make chocoinos.  I had to find out what the heck is a chocoinos. It's a, " a dense and foamy hot chocolate made with whole milk and sweet vanilla."  Reese posted a Tik Tok video showing her fans how to make one using street snow - and she proceeded to drink it. Ewe! Puerca! Her fans were disgusted by her cavalier attitude of eating unsanitary, polluted street snow. Read More 

Comment: Me thinks that Reese has been using street snow to make daiquiris and it has affected her judgment.  Eating snow off a car is gross. You don't know if bird has shit on it, or if it's contaminated with ice melt flying off a truck, or dirt...or countless other nasty stuff. Yuck.

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Photo: TikTok/reesewitherspoon / Page Six

Photo: TikTok/reesewitherspoon / Page Six

 

Photo: TikTok/reesewitherspoon / Page Six

 ► Florida governor Ronalda DeathSatan Ron DeSantis has dropped out of the race to be POTUS. This leaves the Orange Mussolini and  Nikki Haley (who is basically the orange turd in a brunette wig) to duke it out for the nomination as Head Fascist in Charge for the Republican presidential ticket.  On his way out, Ron decided to quote Winston Churchill...but the quote turned out to be more fake than his claim of not wearing shoe lifts. He was called out for it. BTW: Ronalda has thrown his support to the Orange Goon despite all the insults the Orange Goon has hurled at him.  Goes to show that assholes do stick together. And that Ron will kiss anyone's ass.  Read More  

Governo Ron DeSantis. Photo: Win McNamee/Getty Images/The Guardian.com

Comment: I think Ronnie is hoping to be the Orange Goon's VP pick. If that were to happen, it would be like having Stalin and Hitler join forces to destroy the world. I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but if these two end up together and win, it would put an end to US democracy and usher in a reign of terror.

► The Razzies, the only award show that, IMO, matters, announced it's nominations for 2023 Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Actress...and several other categories. It must have been hard for them to select nominees since there were so many turds made last year. Read More

Photos of Razzie's Worst Actress. Photo: ADN40.com

 

Comment: I can say for a fact that The Pope's Exorcist was 2 hours that I could have used more productively. Expendables 4 was such an embarrassing, blatant cash grab. The first Expandables was a fun movie with a nostalgic nod to older action actors; but the 2, 3 & 4 = industrial crap. A few months ago JLo was complaining at some event about how the entertainment industry has largely ignored her talents by not nominating her for an Emmy, Oscar, Grammy, Golden Globe, Palm d'Ore, BAFTA, and other awards. Well, here's a news flash for her: Throughout her career, JLo has been nominated for 11 Razzies. She still hasn't figured out that she sucks as an actress. Get a damn clue. And that goes for Megan Fox.

Worst Picture

• The Exorcist: Believer (this was the millionth remake/reboot / rehash of the original 1973 movie)
• Expandables 4
• Meg 2: The Trench
• Shazam! Fury Of The Gods
  

Worst Actor

• Russell Crowe: The Pope's Exocist
• Vin Diesel:  Fast X
• Chris Evans: Ghosted
• Jason Stratham: Meg 2: The Trench
• Jon Voight: Mercy

Worst Actress

• Ana de Armas: Ghosted
• Megan Fox: Johnny & Clyde
• Salma Hayek: Magic Mike's Last Dance
• Jennifer Lopez-Noa-Judd-Anthony-(almost Rodriguez)-Affleck: The Mother
• Helen Mirren: Shazam! Fury Of The Gods

Worst Ripoff /Reboot/Prequel/ or Sequel

• Ant Man & The Wasp: Quantumania
• The Exorcist: Believer
• Expendables 4
• Indiana Jones & Sucking The Franchise Dry The Dial of Destiny
• Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey