EVENING NIGHTCAP: It's Baaaack - Victoria's Secret Show. Lifetime's Holiday Movies (w/ one industrial-grade gag cringe)

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► The smell of baby prostitot cologne, cigarettes/vaping, glue gun, and flat iron hair you may be smelling these days is due to the Victoria's Secret Nekkid Angels Fashion Show making a comeback. The only persons cheering this news are Leonardo DiCapprio (and his pussy posse) and geriatric oligarchs who fancy themselves as yacht daddies. The show has been off the air since 2018. VS fell out of favor with buyers who grew tired of their shitty quality, skank designs, and promoting unrealistic, unhealthy physiques with models whose daily diet probably consisted of an olive, a pack of ciggs, and a bottle of Evian. Plus, long time CEO, Lex Wexner, was forced to step down in 2021 after years of controversy over his close relationship with convicted sex offender, Jeffrey Epstein. Over the years, sales for the brand crashed harder than I did when, back in college, I drank 6 tequila shots on a dare. I know...it was stupid and I learned from my mistake. Unfortunately, VS hasn't.  Anyhoo, the show will premier tonight and will feature a few past models including Adriana Lima, Alessandria Ambrosio, Jasmine Tookes, Candice Swanepoel and Behati Prinsloo. The company said, "they are promising a new and improved Victoria's Secret".  Sure, Jan...sure.  Read More

Candice Swanepoel walks in the 2013 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show at Lexington Avenue Armory on November 13, 2013 in New York City
Candice Swanepoel at the 2013 Victoria's Secret show. Photo: Getty / Hello Magazine.com

Comment:  By "new and improved" they probably mean having a couple of red heads prancing down the runaway with a sea of blondes and a few token brunettes tossed in for variety. VS has had a revolving door of executives who have tried everything to make the brand relevant again. IMO, therein lies the problem: you have a bunch of men running a company that sells women's lingerie. The only fantasy they're fulfilling are their own horny ambitions of what they think women want in undergarments, even sexy lingerie. That's my arm chair opinion of them. 

 a man in a suit says that 's the problem on a snl show

 ►  On the heels of Hallmark announcing 47 movies for the upcoming holiday season, Lifetime said "hold my eggnog" and announced their holiday movie lineup. One of the upcoming sappy movies was inspired by the fauxmance between Tay-Tay and football's Ron Burgundy. The movie, Christmas In The Spotlight, will test your gag reflexes. It's a story about a pop star named Bowyn (insert eye roll) who meets Drew, a professional football player backstage at one of her concerts. Who the hell came up with the name "Bowyn" for the character?  Are Lifetime execs playing drunk Scrabble? Below is a synopsis from Lifetime's press release.  Read More

 “With each passing day they spend together, their feelings grow stronger… but can it last in the limelight, especially when they both have such hectic schedules? With people questioning if their feelings for each other are real or just for show, the pressure mounts from the press, paparazzi, their fans and even their family,” the movie description reads. 

Comment:   Hey I get it, a check is a check. But JFC, why would a professional actor sign up to do THIS movie about the world's most ridiculous fauxmance. All that training gone to waste. I'd rather do commercials or some d-grade end of the world disaster movie that's a class project for a film school student.  I'll let the gif below speak on my behalf.

Still from Hallmark's 'Christmas in the Spotlight.'
Publicity still for Lifetime's "Christmas In The Spotlight". Photo: Lifetime / Hollywood Reporter

 a woman in a green jacket is licking her lips and says gag me .

 

 


 

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