EVENING NIGHTCAP: JLo Yaps About Failed Relationships. Baby Name Trends 2025. Aussie's Crumbl Cookie Chaos.

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 ► In a chit-chat with Interview magazine, Jennifer-Lopez-Noa-Judd-(almost Affleck)-Anthony-Affleck-TBD burped out platitudes about her failed marriages that sound like they were lifted from a Smurf self-help book.  Without naming her most recent ex-husband (Affleck), she sneezed out these hilarious dingleberries of self-reflection. Read More

“You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete,” Lopez told comedian Nikki Glaser in an Interview magazine profile published Oct. 9. Without mentioning Affleck by name, Lopez added, “Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself.”

jlo jennifer lopez
Jennifer Lopez on the cover of Interview Magazine. Photo: Interview.com

Comment: JLo is 55 years old, has been engaged 6 times and married 4 times. I cackled when she said, "being in a relationship doesn't define me". Ha, ha, ha! Wow, she's sniffing her own delusional farts.  Had I been interviewing Miss Jello, I would have asked her, "why didn't you arrive at this conclusion AFTER your 2nd or 3rd failed relationship?"  She needs to look at  the cross-country trail of failed relationships that has defined her life. I hate to bust her bubble but she DOES define herself through relationships. If she didn't', her life would not be littered with the leftovers of one failed relationship after another. What is the common denominator in all these failures? JLo!

 a man wearing headphones is sitting on a couch with maybe you are the problem written below him

► According to experts of baby names, the names that will be trending next year will be Hawaiian inspired names or names that end in "ie" that combine old-fashion with a modern twist. Wait...are we talking baby names or a recipe for refrig oatmeal? Names with "i-e" that will gain popularity include Birdie, Goldie, Scottie, and Billie.  Pretentious parents will re-spell a normal name by adding "k-a-i" or "a-n-i" or "i-e" to make it Hawaiian exotic and different. The names these so-called experts say will take off like a toddler with a dirty diaper include be Leilani, Kehlani, Milani, or a variation of a name that has been "Hawaiian-ized" such as Ashleyani, Brookeani, or Jaxsonkai (I made up those last 3 using Scrabble word tiles). Read More 

There are clearer criteria for naming dogs than there are for naming people.
Photo: H. Armstrong Roberts/Classic Stock/Getty/NY Times

Comment: I long for the days when parents gave their kids normal names such as James, Mary, Thomas, William, or Susan. I despise the baby name trend of the past 2 decades of parent(s) taking a perfectly good name and thinking they have to make it "cutesy" or "unique" by adding an "X" or misspelling it on purpose to make it memorable. Ex: Aidan → Ayedien or some shit like that.  Even worse are parents who name their spawns after an inanimate object like Apple, Brick, or Sunset. Gag.  Thank you for letting me rant. 

a little girl standing in front of a fireplace with the words " what 's your name " written above her 

► Crumbl Cookies is a franchise in the USA and Canada that sells ridiculously large cookies that are made from 100% sugar and contain 1,000 calories (and no...I'm not exaggerating on that last point). They're getting unwanted attention in the land down under (Govt Name: Australia). It all started when a few fans of Crumbl cookies decided buy a shit load of products in the USA and haul them back to Australia to sell. These budding entrepreneurs (cookie bootleggers) advertised on SM that Crumbl was coming to Bondi in a pop-up shop.  Aussies got excited and lined up for hours  only to discover they were selling stale, old, and waaay overpriced crap at $17.50  / each (vs. $5.00 in the USA).  The whole thing turned into a fiasco for the suckers who stood in line hoping to get a sugar rush from a fresh Crumbl. Fyre Festival syndrome has struck Crumbl.  Read More

Why Is Crumbl Cookies So Popular
Image: Wolf of Franchise

Comment: I consider myself a cookie connoisseur. I've had Crumbl Cookies and I was disappointed. They are so sugary they made me gag . I also thought their texture was limp and doughy and mushy - like Playdough. I don't get the hype. Also, $5 for one cookie is outrageous. For that, I can buy an entire pack of Oreos Double Stuff or Pepperidge Farm Saulsalitos.

a woman with long hair is saying " trust me , it 's overrated " .

 

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