OPEN POST: Name This Big Fat Beaver

If you took one look at the picture above and thought to yourself, "Dam, that's one big beaver you've got there! What do you call her?", you'd be in good company. That's because pretty much all of Chicago has said the same thing according to the internet.

Seen living along the banks of the Chicago River, this little river rat has been described as "remarkably rotund" and needs a name. And well, if there's one thing people love, it's dubbing their big hairy beavers (I said DUBBING!).

Anyhor, I came up with a few myself, but the internet needs your help, too. Bonus points if you can name the band this beaver joined AND their big smash hit.

Sebastian's Dumb Beaver Names:

• Joan Gnawford
• Michael J. Beaver
• Kenny Loggins

Sebastian's Dumb Beaver Band Names:

• Chewy Lewis & The Chews
• Pearl Dam
• Twisted Splinter

Sebastian's Dumb Beaver Smash Hits:

• Dam, I Wish I Was Your Beaver
• Gnawing On Heaven's Door
• Wood Vibrations

Now get to work, hookers! And Happy Friday!