A Brief Review In Pictures: 1986's "Black Moon Rising!"

Let's talk about "Black Moon Rising," shall we? Poster art notwithstanding, at no point does the eponymous Black Moon burst out of Tommy Lee Jones left eyeball, though that would have made for one hell of a climax. This movie is likely forgotten by most, but wee little me saw it in the theater, and while far-fetched and improbable, I thought it was pretty nifty - if sort of stupid, but in a fun way.

See, the Black Moon is this prototypical high-tech car which gets stolen by glamorous high-tech car thief, Linda Hamilton (hot off her monster hit "Terminator"). But before she swipes it, Tommy Lee Jones hides a VERY IMPORTANT DISC THAT THE CIA NEEDS in the bumper, and from then on, everyone's in high-speed pursuit of the purloined Black Moon.

Linda may be a car thief, but she's not a bad guy (she only steals rich people's cars, so who cares?). She clearly lives life on the edge, and though pursued by bad guys and good guys throughout this movie, she has her priorities straight: nothing comes between her and her lip gloss.

Bubba Smith is (as always) as cool as only he can be, but he seems a bit embarrassed to be here, but hey, a check's a check!

Linda's high-tech criminal lair was one of the first times I'd ever seen a loft as a residence (maybe the first one I'd seen was in another fabulous, if wildly improbable, thriller, Jane Fonda's "The Morning After"). Linda's digs are in an old factory and there's no windows, but there's lots of indirect lighting and this little homo was entranced!

This movie's almost 40 years old and the Black Moon is still infinitely cooler than any Tesla.

Plus, any movie with Lee Ving as a psychotic killer is an instant classic.

And what's with all the convenient, well-lit ductwork in 80s thrillers?

"How YOU doin'?"

From the look on her face, he clearly busted a foul one and didn't even roll down the window. MEN, amirite? No, but seriously, he's about to attempt a stunt that could get them both killed!

But the piece de resistance, the CENTERPIECE, actually, is Linda's hilarious "disguise" as a cheap floozy. When she shows up in that rayon brunette mullet, this film surpasses "Citizen Kane" and "All About Eve." Entire courses at UCLA should be devoted to that wig.

I've read repeatedly that this wig inspired the Prince song "When Doves Cry" (Okay, I've never read that but I genuinely do believe that the weave was the inspiration for that song) (prove me wrong!). 

So in summation, even as a kid I knew this movie was kind of dumb, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. It's fun, has that high-80s gloss and action, and it gives the glorious Linda Hamilton a major role right after the 1st "Terminator" made her a star. But she still had "Terminator 2: Judgement Day" in her future, not to mention her hit TV show "Beauty and the Beast."

(I can't help it, I'm giggling)

All I'm saying is, if you're really bored (or really geeked) you might just love this movie. 

Currently you are able to watch "Black Moon Rising" streaming on Amazon Prime Video, Amazon Prime Video with Ads, or for free with ads on The Roku Channel, Pluto TV. It is also possible to rent "Black Moon Rising" on Amazon Video, Fandango At Home, Microsoft Store, Apple TV online and to download it on Amazon Video, Apple TV, Fandango At Home, Microsoft Store.

Photo Credits: New World Pictures; IMDB