EVENING NIGHTCAP: Want To Be A Roadie? Cujo Reboot (with my casting idea).

 

► Have you ever dreamed of being a roadie & personal assistant to a washed up rocker so you can experience what it's like to be overworked, talked down to, and treated like trash? Gene Simmons, co-founder and lead singer of KISS is launching "The Ultimate Gene Simmons Experience". And, it will only cost you a measly $12,000 for one day. But what a day it will be! You can be his PA and roadie when he goes on tour with his band (and not KISS). You will experience what it's like to be a lowly roadie: from taking orders to wipe the sweat off his neanderthal eyebrows to fetching his toenail clippers, you will experience it all. At the end of the day, Gene will gift you a tshirt, hat, and supposedly an autograph guitar (which was probably purchased at a garage sale). You really don't believe he would give away one of personal guitars.  Read More 

Gene Simmons, 2024. Photo: Getty Images for History / Page Six

Comment: This is some Fyre Festival level of grifting. The scary part of all this (beside being seen with Gene who looks like he crawled out of NYC sewer with an attitude to match) is that there are people who will waste $12,000 to hang out with him for a day and pick up after him. Gene strikes me as the type that will show up for 5 minutes, say something crass to the person who paid for this scam, hand over a list of demands, and then leave never to be seen again.  I can think of better ways to spend that kind of money.  

 

► Cujo, the 1983 movie based on the Stephen King novel, is getting the reboot treatment courtesy of Netflix. If you've never read the book or seen the movie, it's about about a St. Bernard that goes  bezerk and terrorizes a mom and her kid in a car. No word on who will star in the remake or release date. BTW, I hear the dog from "Beethoven" movies is available. He needs to get his agent to schedule an audition stat. Read More 

Image courtesy of: Deadline.com

Comment: Cujo was my least favorite Stephen King book and movie adaptation. The movie dragged way too long and I didn't have the patience to sit there for 2 hours while Cujo kept banging his head on the car trying to get the people out while they screamed non-stop. Ugh. In the original movie, Dee Wallace played the mom. I predict Netflix will make the mom a wealthy suburbanite who drives a Land Rover, lives in a gated community, is into hot yoga, afternoon drinking, and is having an affair with the tennis pro at the country club. The kid (Tad, played by Danny Pintauro) attends an exclusive private prep school and secretly sells black market Pokemon cards. Netflix should take creative liberties and recast Cujo as a Chihuahua and not a St Bernard. A pissed off  demonic Chihuahua is waaaay scarier.