"GET OUT OF MY SWAMP!" If you've ever heard the phrase, "The nose knows" and wondered to yourself, "What exactly DOES the nose know?" , be sure as fuck not to ask this guy! That's because he's the Burbank Serial Butt-Sniffer, otherwise known as Calese Carron Crowder, and he's got a really shitty way of getting information. First arrested in 2023 for sniffing ass at Barnes and Noble, he was arrested again last week for sniffing ass at Walmart - fucking WALMART, where all of the ass I've ever smelled was against my will! Can you even imagine?? I can, I did, and I wish I hadn't! Anyhor, his bail is set at $100,000, and he's expected to go before a judge today. Let's just hope Goopy isn't inspired with any new ideas...
It's sunny and warm and gosh DAMN, that's a beautiful car. I think it's a '67 Impala. So hop in, manually roll down the windows and turn on the radio. It's Wednesday and there's a groovy new song by The Tremeloes coming on in a sec! I don't have the musical knowledge to express why I love this song so much, except that the lyrics are sincere and the vocals keep building and building and building. Happy Wednesday Open Post, darlings. Let's all keep building and building and building! Photo Credit: AK
The Reagan era — a time when the American Dream got a perm, Wall Street got high on its own supply, and compassion was drowned in a jacuzzi at Studio 54. This was the decade when *greed* wasn’t just good — it was federally endorsed. When your country told you that if you weren’t rich, healthy, or white with a good TV smile, you probably deserved whatever hell you were living through. AIDS? Ignore it. Crack epidemic? Criminalize it. Union workers? Fire ‘em. Trees? Cut ‘em. Poor people? Trickle something on them and call it economics. Ronald Reagan sold optimism the way televangelists sell salvation: loud, rehearsed, and with a suspicious bank account offshore. “It’s morning in America,” he beamed, like some kind of demented cheerleader for a dying empire — while actual Americans were waking up to layoffs, homelessness, and lethal indifference. Don’t have healthcare? Bootstraps. Can’t afford college? Bootstraps. Your rent is half your income? Pull harder, baby. Meanwhile, Nanc...
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