Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than Glen Powell's  look-at-me lumpy cum gutters, so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, a nepo half-sibling with no discernible talent except for hitching his wagon to his famous half-sister's ratchet ponytail. Yes, I speak of Frankie Grande , the professional gay who has every gay whipping out their vellum fans, aerating their nipples and huffily intoning, "We don't know her." The straights don't know him, either, but ever since outing himself as the hungriest of attention hors on 2012's "Big Brother 16," in which he proclaimed himself a "social media mogul," made racist comments about Black contestant Devin Shepherd and said, "Lesbians choose to be gay, while men do not," Frankie's been scratching and crawling and guzzling anything within reach to quench his desperate thirst.

Welcome to the latest edition of "Who's The Thirstiest Ho? (formally known as "Thirsty Or Not Thirsty?" because change is good).  Today's candidates are a starry lot, and you can't get any starrier than our first candidate, Camilla Parker Something-Something-Homewrecking-Whore Bowles, who is justly celebrated for playing an awe-inspiring gold-digging game better than anyone with a face like a scrotum ever has before. No, really. Slow clap, Camilla. I mean, imagine that face going down on you. She has to be good at something, right?  No gag reflex, perhaps? Or maybe she's  a much-coveted "3 car garage," as the kids say, who likes oral, vaginal and anal. The mind reels (and the mouth hurls).  Just this week, Camilla called "The Daily Mail"  "The Daily Mail"  exclusively reported that this formally double-dipping sex bomb is about to release a documentary concerning domestic violence and sexual abuse. "Why?" you ask.