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Showing posts with the label Broke Ass

OPEN POST: Struggle Meals

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Times are hard and asses are fat, so what's a hungry hor to do? *insert hooker gif*   NO! We gather all our expired pantry items and a few moldy scraps from the fridge and make a struggle meal, that's what we do! One of my favorite simple meals passed down from the depression era is a glazed Spam sandwich. YES, I KNOW, CALM YOUR TITS. Spam is gooood, and I'll hear none of your elitist hoity-toityisms about "nutrition" or "sodium content" or "high risk for cardiovascular disease" because this post is not concerned about that, thankyewverymuch! Anyway, it's pretty simple. First, you mix together a little brown sugar, yellow mustard, and water in a small bowl. Then you slice your spam. Dredge the spam in the brown sugar/mustard mixture. Then heat a little cooking spray in your skillet add the spam, and cook for just a couple minutes until both sides are a little brown. You can add the remaining glaze to the skillet if you want. Put a lid ...

OPEN POST: The Lady Who Bounced After Plastic Surgery

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We're all familiar with the phrase 'dine and dash' - you know, that thing trifling broke ass tricks do when they should've just stayed at home and had a ham sandwich. But have you ever heard of the 'nip and duck'? Well, allow me to introduce you to THIS lady who did just that!

OPEN POST: Daughter Dollar Bill, Y'all

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Source: Vecteezy I know all you parents out there are currently coming to terms with the fact that Christmas is now just 79 days away (sorrryyy), but I'm gonna need you to focus and redirect your anxiety on to some bullshit you need to be worrying about RIGHT NOW (you childfree hors, however, can take a moment out of your infinite free time to celebrate with some beefy rando on your pile of disposable income). Loosen the purse strings and sign up for that overdraft protection, folks, for today is "National Transfer Money to Your Daughter Day!" It was founded by Zelle in 2017 as a "tongue-in-cheek way to get parents to send money to their daughters" - as if kids weren't already asking for money for literally everything already.  However, 2017 was in the before times ™, you know, before grocery chain CEOs openly bragged about being "very comfortable with our ability to pass on price increases" (to consumers) - and before certain pee-pee-headed Lex ...

Memo to Duke & Duchess of Netflix: Air Force One isn't for bumming a ride

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    It's slow news because of the SAG-Writers strike. So we have to make due with whatever floats on the proverbial toilet bowl. This came up.  According to reports (I'm side-eyeing Scoobie Obbie Doo), the Duke & Duchess of Nextflix stood on the airport tarmac with their thumbs out (the international sign of hitchhiking) to ask the White House if they could bum a ride on Air Force One for Queen Elizabeth's funeral. The White House said, "Nope". I imagine the White House operator rolled their eyes and proceeded to block their number. It takes a special kind of empty headed self importance stupidity to even think about asking POTUS for a freebie on Air Force One, let alone actually doing it. Then again, no one should be shocked since these two have been called grifters by Spotify execs. Is this why Megan didn't attend the funeral and Prince Harry looked pissed off at having to fly commercial?   Let's examine everything that's wrong if you try to hit...

The Bank of Candy Spelling: Open for Business?

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Candy Spelling (Source: Getty Images)