WHO'S THIS WEEK'S THIRSTIEST HO? Is It Justin Bieber? Or Barry Jenkins? Or Walmart's bettergoods?
Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than your Great Auntie's chocha, so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, we have Justin Bieber , whom many believe is driving off a cliff in slow-motion - like Amy Winehouse once did and Britney Spears is doing now - especially after he posted pictures on Instagram this week which featured him shedding a few tears while wearing a porkpie hat in lime green (which is completely unacceptable and makes him look like an infected peen polyp). But let's look closer. Is he shedding real tears or glycerin tears? Or rather, is he troubled or twat-ish? Disturbed or douchey? Tired or tweaky? Down in the dumps or dick-smacking dumb? Before you call out, "All of the above!" or "I'd only smack him with Diddy's dick 'cause he's used to it!" let's consider another option. Dude is majorly parched. But when h...