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WHO'S THE THIRSTIEST HO? Is it Beyonce? Or Jennifer Lopez? Or The King's Cancer?

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Welcome, my chickens, to the latest edition of "Who's The Thirstiest Ho?" First up, perennially-parched stunt queen, Beyonce, who last Sunday gave everyone a confusing case of "Harpo, who's that new Kardashian and why is she wearing a tiny metal heart on her cha-cha hole?" when she dropped a commercial and two new songs during the Super Bowl for her forthcoming country album. Yes, you read that right, "country," the last bastion of greedy pop stars hoping to find a new revenue stream besides this . It worked out so well for Justin Timberlake  and Steven Tyler . Yippee ay yee!  When she inserted herself into TaylorBowl, many wondered if Beyonce was showing her "Look at meeeeee!" jellyness. Others asked if she was stealing the spotlight from Usher's halftime show and his own forthcoming album. The answer is a joyous, "Yes, to all of this!" And when you scorch that much earth, boy, do you need moisture. And since someone on Bey