Peckerwood Manor

Danger ahead! It's called  George Clooney .  The man, the myth, or at least the myth-in-his-own-mind. He's pictured above with his new store-bought teefs, along with evidence that he may well need a re-do of his under-eye surgery - the only cosmetic tweek he'll admit to - since those bags definitely won't fit under the seat or in the overhead bin.  George, as you know, likes to think of himself as both a regular funny-bunny guy and Lord Almighty of The High Church of Hollywood. Beware of both. In terms of the former, his eyes frequently glisten with an aw-shucks twinkle when he jokes about his longtime bestie, Brad Pitt , whom he calls "Pretty Boy Brad," or when he mocks his nipple-dee-do-da, 1997 "Batman" outfit, or mentions how often he likes to play pranks while on set. See? He's just a regular guy. So rascally! Such a scamp! Except when he's not. When Quentin Tarantino recently told the press that George is "not a movie star," ...

Welcome, trollops, to another, very parched edition of "Who's The Thirstiest Ho?" First up, we have America's favorite hot-flashing ingenue, Julia Roberts, who posted a picture this week on her Instagram account celebrating her husband Danny Moder's 55th birthday. Please marvel at the framing and positioning of its subjects, with Julia in a demurely submissive, yet dead-center, position, and Danny, in a higher, yet ignorable, position.  The photo doesn't celebrate Danny, much less his birthday, it celebrates Julia cosplaying a Tradwife . Some stunt, trick! I give an added slow-clap for her yearning, cutesy expression and Danny's serious, manly-man mug, his hand resting paternally on her shoulder, as if to say, "My lovable, dim-bulb wife." The Tradwife theme was echoed when Julia gushed like a Mormon virgin - no chocha, lots of anal! - about Danny and their family to Hoda Kotb, "He's the captain of our ship. Truly. It all starts with Dann...

Are stars "just like us?" Are actors their roles? And are they consistently playing out their own psycho-dramas on screen and in public? In the case of Charlize Theron, it's a fair question to ask. Or put it this way: throughout the years, there may be a reason we haven't seen her playing any of those cute, funny-bunny leading lady roles like Jennifer Lopez or Cameron Diaz (not that there's anything wrong with that), with the exception of a few "pretty girl" roles early in her career in forgettable movies like "Trial and Error" and "Sweet November."  First coming to critical notice in "Monster," in which she obliterated her "pretty girl" looks with weight gain and no make-up in order to portray true-life serial killer, Aileen Wuornos, for which she won a Best Actress Oscar, Charlize has become Hollywood's go-to actress for kicking ass - particularly male ass - either literally, or, in the case of "Bombshel...