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WHO'S THIS WEEK'S THIRSTIEST HO? Is It Alyssa Milano? Or Mindy Kaling? Or Whoopi Goldberg?

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Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than Hungry Jack Mashed Potato flakes (see: Madonna's desiccated skin), so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, we have everyone's favorite Poor Little Rich Girl Celebutart, Alyssa Milano , who posted a GoFundMe page a few months ago, soliciting funds from fans and strangers for her 12 year-old son's baseball team. Furious when her fan s expressed disbelief that she and her husband, both multimillionaires, were begging like mere poors, she defended herself by snapping back, "I've thrown birthday parties!" Well now, that sure showed them. Then she promptly took her son to see the Super Bowl in Vegas - in prime seats, the cost of which could have paid for her son's baseball team's needs at least four times over. But haters gonna hate. Alysa is all things good, as she wants us to know, so please ignore stories t