Bodega cats can be beloved pets and are a sign that a bodega is clean and not teeming with critters like the famous NYC dog-sized rats. The story is  here . 

We all know cats love heights, and Steve the cat from North Vancouver is no exception. His owner, Michelle Johnson, began to worry this week when Steve didn't come home. Her partner went searching and discovered Steve had climbed a neighbour's 100-foot tree and was perched on a thin branch. An arborist was called in to retrieve Steve and he is now home safe and sound. But this isn't Steve's first rodeo: he was rescued back in October for climbing a 90-foot tree, in which he was stuck for three days! When he was finally rescued, he didn't leave the house for a few days. But this time he was unfazed and left again within an hour. Oh, Steve! Will he ever learn? Source: North Shore News  

Happy FTS Day, one and all! What's FTS Day, you ask? I'll give you six guesses: Did I just make this holiday up? Yes, but(t) fuck it! Join me in celebrating! To what shit will you say fuck this  today?

  Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post i s RIGHT HERE .

True Confession: I once shoplifted with my friends when we were 13. Bold and with a lack of fear that only accompanies youth, we stuffed our bookbags full of cosmetics from the makeup aisle in a grocery store. It was a local California chain that I shall not name in case the statute of limitations hasn't run out. I may still be considered a fugitive. I am unsure, but why take chances?  The FBI can still throw my ass in prison.  Regarding our schoolbags, when I say stuffed, I mean jam-packed with anything we could get young sticky fingers on. We had an intricate, dare I say, brilliant system, too. Like the budding criminals we were, our plan was executed with precision. We distracted the bored, older woman worker who had been eyeing us with far too much interest by knocking over a display with a loud OH I AM SO SORRY! Like we foresaw, she shot us the barely concealed look of hostility and resignation and started reorganizing the cardboard cutout of some model with shelves of sh...

  Did you get fooled by anyone today? Tricked by a cheesy corporate marketing stunt? Or perhaps you were the trickster! Either way I hope you got some laughs in today. 

Phew. Is it hot in here? Is it gas or electric heat I'm feeling? Oh, throw open all the windows! Let the cool ocean breeze wrap around us we dance. Or so you'll be saying while dancing and  cha-cha-cha'ing at The Manor's exclusive "Galactic Muffin Lounge," where our own DJ Li'l Scratch is spinning the best of  Tino Contreras, the head-trippy, vanguard Mexican jazz drummer and composer.  Ay! Even if you haven't heard of Tino, you've  heard  him at one point or another in your life. He's long been cherished South of the Border, but it's taken quite a bit longer for us  gringos  to catch on. Just wait.  His jazz is propulsive, joyful, and dripping with sex, with everything from bongos, big bass swings, trumpets, psychedelic jazz riffs and ritual chants tossed into the mix, all of which you can hear in "Santo," his spaced-out classic:  Tino lived long enough to find himself all but canonized in his country and in jazz circles worldwi...

Oh hi there, you're just in time! I saved you a seat. Happy Sunday, my lazy lovelies!

It's like she has a personal vendetta against her scalp. I'm afraid. Source: instagram

Hola, Peck-Pecks. Remember TV show theme songs? What the hell happened to them? There was a time - for a LONG time, I might add - that it was inconceivable for a television show to have absolutely no theme song - much less, no intro - whatsoever. Sadly, these days it's a lost art form, and one I'm not ashamed to say I miss because some of them were some real bangers, like my all-time favorite,  The Jeffersons  theme song, Movin' On Up.  Co-written and performed by Ja'Net DuBois of Good Times  fame back in 1975, this shit is STILL straight up fire! Tell me babes, what's your favorite TV show theme song?

  Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post is RIGHT HERE .

Are their health benefits to drinking booze? Sure. In moderation, it reduces the risk of developing gallstones, heart attacks and also decreases tension, depression, and self-consciousness, which can prompt one to doff their clothes, give or receive a blowie, give or receive an energetic finger-bang, or flat-out get one's freak on. Or really, just cuddle and coo. All are healthful, all have benefits. And since it's Hump Day, be healthy. Have a little drink. Take off your clothes. But not if you're at the airport or any other public place because that's just tackiness no matter what Selena Gomez says . 

Snow White ? More like Snow Shite , am I right? Disney's latest live-action remake that no one asked for has been tanking at the box office. With an opening weekend grossing $45 million, the movie has quite a way to go considering it totalled $250 million in production costs.  Rachel Zegler, who stars in the film, pissed off Conservatives by stating that the original film needed updating since the prince "literally stalks" Snow White.  And there were rumours of pro-Palestinian Zegler clashing with co-star Gal Gadot, who is pro-Israeli. It also seems audiences are just over Disney continuing to make live-action remakes of the classics that help launched it to the status it enjoys today. Maybe the tanking performances will serve as a wake-up call to the executives to come up with new ideas! Sources: Disney, The Independent

I t's time to jump, jam and jive, and there's no cat around who can do that better than DJ Li'l Scratch, am I right? Tonight, at the Manor's exclusive "Cake Shake Lounge," Li'l Scratch will be spinning tunes from the smoothest jazz vocalist around. Can you guess? I'll give you a hint. Who has the vocal smoothness of Etta Jones with the rhythmic snap of Della Reese? If you guessed Helen Humes, you were right.  "For who - and for what?" you might also ask.  Let me explain, first by pointing out that Cincinnati once had its very own popular Cotton Club nightspot .  "Wait - really? Shut up!" you exclaim. I will not shut up, and  for reals, it did . And get this: that's where the incomparable Helen Humes truly kicked off her career in the early 1930s. "Saucy," "rousing," "classy" and "swingin'" are just a few of the adjectives that were used to describe Helen during her heyday, though later...

Now here's a holiday I think we can all get behind. Sending you all happy Sunday vibes, Peckerpups.

  "Three Black Cats" Edward Kahler, 1891 It is a well-known fact that cats have always been the star of the show. Since ancient times they have rightfully been worshipped and immortalized in artwork. So Peckers, do you have a favourite piece of art that depicts our furry friends? Do share!

Times are hard and asses are fat, so what's a hungry hor to do? *insert hooker gif*   NO! We gather all our expired pantry items and a few moldy scraps from the fridge and make a struggle meal, that's what we do! One of my favorite simple meals passed down from the depression era is a glazed Spam sandwich. YES, I KNOW, CALM YOUR TITS. Spam is gooood, and I'll hear none of your elitist hoity-toityisms about "nutrition" or "sodium content" or "high risk for cardiovascular disease" because this post is not concerned about that, thankyewverymuch! Anyway, it's pretty simple. First, you mix together a little brown sugar, yellow mustard, and water in a small bowl. Then you slice your spam. Dredge the spam in the brown sugar/mustard mixture. Then heat a little cooking spray in your skillet add the spam, and cook for just a couple minutes until both sides are a little brown. You can add the remaining glaze to the skillet if you want. Put a lid ...

  Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post is RIGHT HERE.

Fosse. Hot-cha! Jazz hands. Is there a better way to welcome Hump Day? "Sweet Charity" (1969) may be one of Bob Fosse's more uneven movies as a director, but as a choreographer, it has some of his most irresistible dance numbers.  When I first watched it as a child on TV, probably on "The Late Late Show," I was spellbound by the numbers at the club. This, I thought, is what it really means to be a grown up. This is what it's like when you go out on the town. And yes, I later tried to perform some of the numbers in the living room, which, let me tell you, had my older sister chuckling for days. If anyone knows of a club like the one in "Sweet Charity," call me immediately. 

The older I get the less I want to go outside of my home. So naturally Saint Patrick's Day has fallen to the wayside as I can't imagine braving the crowds at the pubs like I used to do in my undergrad days. That said, many friends and coworkers did celebrate the holiday and might just be feeling under the weather today. So if that's you, here's a nice crisp glass of Alka-Seltzer to help you perk up. Cheers!