THIRSTY OR NOT THIRSTY? With Martha Stewart, Ariana Grande And Barack Obama!
Welcome to today's edition of "Thirsty Or Not Thirsty," in which we judge the relative thirstiness - or not - of various celebutarts. First up, everyone's favorite memaw chef, gardener and wacky weed enthusiast, Martha Stewart, who just posted the picture above for her adoring fans on her Instagram page. Note her carefully mussed-up wig hair and her (relatively) perky titty-balls. This is Hard-Core Thirsty (for those who are blind), made even more so by her moist, parted lips, also known as her Polish soup coolers if she's serving sauerkraut borscht, as every proper Polish trollop is wont to do. Blow, Martha, blow. I'm willing to hear about why this picture is not thirsty, but honestly, it's pretty damn unquenchable, and I'll be frank, I admire her game. Martha is 83 and doing what Madonna should be doing at 65, but then peek-a-boo knockers is too subtle for Vadge, who these days is more interested in showing-off her Inflate-A-Ho keister. But I digr