Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than Chrissy Teigen's fashionable "underwear dress" at the Olympics Opening Ceremony, so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, the Internet's favorite critter-infested pass-around-peen. I'm referring, of course, to Pete Davidson , who's been linked to countless Hollywood camel toes thirsting for publicity, or so it seems, because unless Pete's diseased tube steak is irresistible, than I, for one, do not get what's going on here - and probably don't want to know for my own mental health. Pete is the Fred Durst  of comedians, the Jaden Smith of actors, and, yes, the ass from which the worm escaped and nibbled on Robert F. Kennedy, Jr's  brain matter. Given his girlfriend track record - which includes the alleged model,  Emily Ratajkowski ; nepo-nothing throw cushion,  Kaia Gerber ; doughnut enemy,  Arian

Domestic violence, sexual assault, skid-marked undies! These are just a few of the dangers which some straight men perpetrate and possess according to a series of TickTwat viral memes in which women declare that they'd rather spend time in the woods with a bear instead of an unknown man - since a bear will only kill and eat them. They mean a literal bear, not a ghey bear, who'll only binge-watch "Housewives" with them or take them out for cocktails and titters.  Hilariously, some straight men are missing the point entirely: that women naturally need to be on guard because there's no way of knowing what an unknown guy might do. Duh! Instead, they feel "demeaned" and "attacked." Some have even huffily noted, "There is not enough context to answer this question!" believing that they're being all smarty-like and sagacious.  Predictably, these same men are now labeling those who choose the bears as "man-haters," along with a

Actor Cheryl Hines, pictured above giving a sloppy knob job to JFK's ghost - watch out for that ecto-jism, girl! - is steaming mad that her husband and Democratic Presidential candidate, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., doesn't have Secret Service protection. You know RFK, Jr., right? He's the Kennedy spawn who thinks Covid vaccines contain itty-bitty microchips used to control people; who believes school shootings are solely caused by anti-depressants; and who's convinced that transgenderism is caused by chemical herbicides. Yikes! Stay away from that salad nicoise, Cheryl! So, sure, Secret Service protection is required, even though RFK Jr.'s campaign for President has yet to be acknowledged by the DNC. This isn't stopping Cheryl, a Miami native who started her career in TV's "Swamp Thing," from loudly demanding that her hubs be taken seriously. She's even appealed to President Biden, who I'm absolutely sure has received the memo. And in the immor