Game On, Bitches! Adele Will "Kill You" If You Throw Shit at Her On Stage!



Adele, seen here giving us slutty Big Bird on Ozempic, laid dow the law during a recent show at her Vegas residency.

Simply put, she ain't about to get whacked in the head by a hurled cellphone like Bebe Rexha. "I fucking dare you," she reportedly joked to the audience. "I'll fucking kill you." On one hand, I'm Team Adele. No one should have to deal with injury, serious or otherwise, simply for singing a song. On the other hand: Huh. Challenge accepted (I keed, I keed). 

On the other hand (I have a third!),  I ask with my best John Quinonus: "What would you do?" Or more accurately, what would you throw? 

Cheese slices are always appropriate, of course, but I can also get behind things which I imagine Susan Boyle's Adele's fans might have on hand, like crutch tips, yarn balls, chintz throw pillows, Crocs, adult coloring books, gelled knee wraps and jigsaw puzzle pieces, which, when assembled, reveal inspiring quotations like, "This Too Shall Pass." 

(Photo Credits: Instagram)

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