Ricky Martin and Hubby Jwan Yosef Are Headed To Splitsville!

Ricky Martin and his hubs, Jwan Yosef - seen above demonstrating which fist he uses for sexy times - are getting a divorce. The gorgeous couple, as you'll recall, met on Instagram (because of course they did), and it  doesn't sound like their break-up is messy. That's a sad trombone for me, because I j'adore mess (don't we all?). And while they're not exactly "consciously uncoupling," they did issue a statement saying that their first priority is their chirruns. They're also "honoring" the many years they've spent together. 

Blah-blah-blah. What the hell kind of Hollywood divorce is this? Must the gheys be neat and tidy about everything? Our basic human rights are being taken away as we speak, and we can't even get a measly trick or two selling their stories as the "the other man?" I'm not asking for an Amber Heard fudge dragon on the bedsheets escandalo - eeeow, but also, classique - just a little juice, dammit. Don't just stand there and look pretty. 

Meanwhile, gold diggers are on high-alert. Ricky may have money-draining crotch-droppings, but he's still rolling in mucho coin from his days as a top (as if!) pop star. Start your engines, gheys, and may the best floozy win!

(Photo credits: Getty Images/Hola!)