The Gator State Welcomes Parasitic Infections!

By


Malaria! It's not just for the subtropics anymore! 

Yes, it's true. Malaria has made a thrilling arrival in the Sunshine State, joining radioactive roads, gung-ho gun laws and easy-peasy death. So far, there's four confirmed cases and more expected (and only one in Texas, the slackers). Does it get better? Yes, it does. Because given the psychological effects of the disease, at last we have an explanation for Ron DeSantis: 


Paranoid delusions? Check. Impulsivity? Check-check. Incomprehensible flight of ideas? All the checks. And don't get me started on internal bleeding, impaired consciousness and jaundice. I can only take so much excitement. Quick! Someone give the li'l  skeeters directions to Mar-a-Lago.

Any day now, DeSantis will surely order his mudflap minions to cover the entire State in mosquito netting in lieu of vaccines, because vaccines are for losers. Also, QAnon already told us that vaccines make you ghey. Why, just the other day, a normy young Floridian got a vaccine, and - horrors! - look what happened to him. 

And for those who think malaria is nature's way of saying, "Don't come to Florida!", you're obviously jelly. Florida has the bestest diseases and the bestest ever mosquitos. You wish your State was this glamorous.

(Photo credits: KIMIMASA MAYAMA/Reuters)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

OPEN POST: Little Girl Looking Downstairs at Christmas Party

By
Image
Can you hear this painting like I can? Hone in on a conversation; what are they discussing? There's music playing; what does it sound like? There's an aroma in the air; what does it smell like? Who is your favorite guest? What's their name? What are they wearing? The little girl at the top of the stairs - what does she think of it all? Who are her parents? How long has she been there? Why is she there? How long until she's discovered and sent back to bed? Decades have passed; does she remember this night still? BTW, looking for Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post? It's  RIGHT HERE .
Read more

OPEN POST: Happy Solstice, Peckers!

By
Image
  Here we are: the shortest day of the year, the longest night. Nature is slowly but surely continuing its cycle of rebirth and we will see brighter days ahead. It's the perfect time to reflect on the past year and consider what kind of light you'd like to bring into your life. A time of hope and renewal. I wish you all a happy Solstice! Source: Flux Image BTW, looking for Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post? It's  RIGHT HERE .
Read more

OPEN POST: Manor Music Monday With Barbara Cartland!

By
Image
Are you off work yet? Are you ready to throw a swingin' party? That means making party music mixes, right? And, yes, you must throw in a WTF song in the middle of the mix just to mess with everyone. For example, say you're throwing a New Years Eve party with a bunch of cooler-than-cool jazz or house music tracks; in the middle if it, throw in this song . I guarantee everyone will squeal with delight. In fact, throwing that song into any mix is always a good move.  Want more ideas for WTF songs to drop into your mixes? DJ Li'l Scratch has got you covered. But first, let's pause for a moment. This is important. Why? Because this is the definition of beauty: The face: like a pale, English Cream Custard (which is just a bit overcooked). The jewelry: made from the finest diamonelles money can buy. The eyes: with their exquisite baby tarantula eyelashes (the eye shadow is their after-birth). I'm overcome, I can barely breathe. And, no, this is not RichBitch. She is, of c...
Read more