Tom Holland Had A Booze Problem!

Tom Holland, one of moviedom's favorite twinkie snack cakes and current paramour of Zendaya, moviedom's newest fashion-girl fashionista - really, she's absolutely killing it - had a big ol' problem with hootch. 

As he recently told the podcast, "On Purpose," he didn't even know he was an addict until 2022, when he was participating in Dry January. Suddenly, he felt intense cravings to get tanked - only to realize that getting tanked had been a huge part of his life for years. "All I could think about was having a drink," he said. "It really scared me."

No word yet on whether he was blitzed when he performed Rihanna's "Umbrella" in drag for "Lip Sync Battle" in 2018, but I'm going to guess yes, because no sober person would ever opt for such a criminally unflattering a-line bob. The shame. Kids, this is your hair on booze. 

Happily, Tom's been sober for over a year now, and at age 27, I'd wager that this is a good time as any for him to get his shit together. Why? Because being plotzed on the regular past age 25 is not cute, definitely a sad emoticon and can only lead to weight gain, liver failure, unpredictable tushy coughs, and, yes, criminally unflattering a-line bobs. Are you not scared yet? 

Let's all learn a lesson from Jack Lemmon - and now Tom. Forget the sauce and fire up a fattie instead. It's not physically addictive, it makes you feel creamy, and if you indulge with friends, you never know what might happen next.