Courtney Stodden at 29 and She's All Grown Up! (she refers to herself as she)

To be totally transparent, I used to say terrible things about Courtney Stodden when she first came on the scene at sixteen, married to Doug Hutchinson and hamming it up for cameras. She appeared so over the top and in our faces in the tackiest hooker wear and hair dyed platinum blonde, with fake breasts and shoes that looked like they were part of the Fredericks Collection. The whole thing was repulsive and unsavory. I felt filthy simply reading about her or looking at photos, especially with her (hork)husband.

The late 2000s and early 2010s were like the Wild West, and people said whatever was on their minds. Filter?! What fucking filter! This was another time when things were more complicated, and most of society ignored feminism, gender, grooming, or people's feelings. Harvey Weinstein was the most powerful man in Hollywood, and Brangelina had people slugging it out in comment sections all over the globe. We didn't give a damn if it hurt someone's feelings; we were going to say it anyway. Perez Hilton was drawing penises on people and led the charge demolishing egos like a wrecking ball, and was smug and vicious about it. Where MK was funny and in on the joke, the comment sections at the D were mostly amusing, but not many people had any fucks to give. We had a habit of nastiness in gossip sections, and social media was blowing up, giving the world more places to spew bilious tripe and dismantle the famous little by little, leaving behind a picked clean carcass where a celebrity used to be. 

In our defense, the world was a shitshow, grim, with 911, the lie about WMDs, the hanging damn chads, W and Cheney committing a thousand violations, terror warning colors on our tv screens, and we knew people who had lost their lives in Iraq or Afghanistan, it was the rise of FOX who started breaking the country apart, and we became polarized and helpless. I used to cling to Air America and NPR like they were life rafts just for some other news and opinions. I was in my own deep well then and was way short on empathy. 

No wonder gossip and social media were bastions of cruelty with a lack of compassion or kindness. Life was damned exhausting, and we needed escapes. Courtney unfortunately came on the scene in the middle of it, and the reactions were swift and merciless. This was when we were getting flashed daily by Paris, Britney, or Lindsay's bare vaginas; they were all getting arrested, behaving poorly, and getting attention for it. Anna Nicole Smith was deconstructing in real-time, and then she was gone. Another chick on the scene was in a no-win situation, only that no one informed Miss Stodden of this. The hate barrelled toward her, and she had no idea she was about to be run over and cut to shreds.

Today, Courtney Stodden turned 29, and they look great and healthy with a fantastic attitude and some wisdom about her past. She avoided the dead end even though she had been exploited by a mother who never protected her, a perverted predator who should have been in prison, paraded around like a sex toy, and eager for fame and to please the heinous adults in her life. Where was CPS? Doug had groomed her with her mother's consent. Shouldn't the law have gotten involved? That question was not asked enough. And let's face it, her presentation inspired derision, not feelings of responsibility. Besides, she was married, and her parents let her do it, not our business, and maybe she's mature for her age, and it is none of our business because she's a ho anyway, so...

Now, I am older, and all I see in those 13 year old photos is a child playing pornstar pretend, having no idea what it would cost her. That is also when porn stars bubbled up for a moment in pop culture as run-off from the late 90s and Boogie Nights. Third Wave Feminism was riding high (it was necessary because the slut shaming was out of control). Still, it was an overload of ass jibs and woman and girl celebrities sexualizing themselves. I see she was copying them, wanting to join the club and, more than anything, be accepted. Back then, I didn't. 

Because we are different now, Christy Teigen's comments have aged like twenty-year-old sour milk that failed to curdle. It shut her down as it should have years ago. Better late than never. Her comments felt ugly and different. We don't accept that anymore. Prince Andrew might be getting back in with his brother, but we won't forgive him. Epstein is dead. Ghilslane suffers indignations that we read with glee. Harvey is in prison. Lindsay has a baby, the war has ended, and for many of us, it is a new time, a kinder time, a more contemplative time; we wouldn't accept what we accepted then. Yes, I know the world is on fire, but some things have improved. Non Binary? Huh. (me in 2008)

She is recovering and much better after the foray into inevitable extremely exploitive porn, some cesspools parading as men using her, and some failed pop singer career attempts. Still vulnerable. Still eager but less like a newborn kitten and more like a growing puppy. Now, all I want to do is mother her. I want to tuck her up in a cozy bed, smooth her baby hair from her forehead, kiss her cheeks, and tell her she is safe. I want to protect her.

Yet, she can protect herself and would rather have a friend on equal terms who respects her and is up for a laugh and a cup of herbal tea. 

Happy Birthday, Courtney!

(photos courtesy of Instagram, Huffington Post, US Sun)