Body Shamers and Concern Trolls, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? Keely Shaye and Pierce Brosnan

When will most of society realize women's agency over our bodies is not up for discussion? We don't need people commenting on our so-called flaws? We already know the parts of us that don't fit with the accepted aesthetic that gets twisted and pushed through Photoshop and mountains of fillers and plastic surgery. We get it. As little girls, the message is subtle, and we don't quite understand, but we get it loud and clear by the time we hit puberty. Some of us have fought through the onslaught of unattainable media images to reach a place of acceptance. I accepted that I was a minority and different even within that category. But if your body is plump, the message is worse, and it is learned in childhood. And it is like a bullhorn, and it is relentless from which there is no escape. Those girls got teased, rejected, put on diets as seven-year-olds, picked last for sporty games, and pushed aside. I am not denying that little boys don't have it hard; it is just for girls; it never stops. 

Enter Pierce Brosnan and his wife, Keely Shaye Smith, into the chat. It hasn't been a secret that Keely had gained a lot of weight; I am a gossip hound, so occasionally, they would show up to an event, which would spark outrage in the comment sections of blogs and tabloids. The comments were scathing and dripping with disgust, anger, and disbelief. How could a woman let herself go like that? Don't cry when a skinny bitch comes and wrecks your marriage. They were arrogant and sure that Pierce was no longer attracted to her, but he was a good guy who didn't want to break up a family, so he stayed with her. And Brosnan was grieving over his first wife (she passed from cancer in the early 90s, leaving him with three kids), so thin Keely swooped in, and he was grateful to her so he didn't leave her. That one was quite popular, and responses would be nailed it, cosign, ^this^. Or the concerned ones. That is a recipe for poor health and a heart attack. She seems sweet and has a cute face, but if she loved herself, she would lose the weight or this one; I am sure no doctor has ever approved of her being as big as she is. She needs to push away from the table. For the sake of the children!  

That they think so little of Piece's ability to choose his wife shows that it isn't about their concern for him; it is a concern for themselves. Keely wasn't following the script for bigger women, and they couldn't abide it. NO! Big girls are sidekicks, not main events! They aren't supposed to get the good looking guy. Brosnan knows his wife's body and loves her, and it offends some people so much they don't care about how nasty they seem. How do they know if that isn't his preferred type? They don't know this couple, but they know she has become larger over the last 30 years, and therefore, in their minds, they not only know enough; they know everything. It is like trampling over the boundaries of bigger people is not only accepted, but it is our duty to shame them, hate them, abuse them, dismiss them, or ridicule them until they feel so low and full of self-hatred that it will finally inspire them to go on a diet. It is for their own good. 

Pierce said over the years, friends had offered to pay for weight loss surgery for Keely. (These are friends?). I highly doubt friends would offer to pay for a breast lift or a BBL or other cosmetic procedures; it was the size of her body that was difficult for them to accept, so they were willing to pay for a surgery that I am sure Pierce and Keely could pay for themselves. Since they are supposed friends, they know the Brosnans aren't paupers, so what was this about? Pierce and Keely are aware it exists, and for whatever private reasons, they aren't interested. This refusal goes against everything society has spent ages hammering into our heads, and they got the same messages we all did. Be anything, little girl, but don't be ugly, and don't be fat. 

A case in point was Mama Cass Elliot of the 1960s group The Mamas and the Papas; she was a very talented, charismatic songbird who dared, with her large body, stand on stage next to the California beauty of the group, slender, blonde, green-eyed Michelle Phillips. Their harmonies were unsurpassed in pop music during their day, and Cass Elliot was the foundation. Early on, John Phillips rejected her because of her size, but the voice was too powerful to ignore. The group went on to become superstars, and when they broke up, she went on to have a very respectable solo career. It never stopped people from commenting on her size though; their obsession with it followed her to her grave. Sadly, at 33, she passed away before doing so many of the things she dreamed of accomplishing. The story that circulated for years after she died: she choked to death on a ham sandwich. So prevalent was this lie that it was accepted as the truth for decades. This insidious tale was supposed to die a quick and final demise when it was announced that the actual cause of death was a heart attack alone in her London Hotel. Her death became a nasty punchline, and laughing was okay because she was fat. The saddest truth about this is that crash dieting, diet pills, bouts of bulimia, and despair caused her heart failure. Trying to be thin is what killed Cass Eliot. 

Keely has said she has struggled with her weight since childhood, and each pregnancy added weight she couldn't lose. She had to grapple with it publicly and endure the years of shamers putting her pictures next to the thin ones from when they met. Time for a mic drop, y'all. Look at how she let herself go. There are photos. There are receipts." I found some pictures of Keely on Google, then clicked on them to give the photographers credit, and my heart sank. The titles of the articles were vile, and one simply said, "Fat, Keeley." I saw several "Celebrity Men Married to Ugly Wives." This should not have surprised me, but it did. Pierce has pushed back, and they are known to be happy and compatible; however, that gets drowned out by concern trolls and body shamers. I could have told him no matter what he says, it will not deter them. Society has practically given them this right, and in Keely's situation, even more so because she is a large woman.

A sociologist professor said the last frontier of accepted bigotry is against heavier people, especially women. People know not to be racists, homophobes, transphobes, or prejudiced against those with disabilities, but this is condoned. It is okay to make jokes at their expense and to decimate a woman's self-esteem. Billions upon billions of dollars are spent by people who want to lose weight, and the diet industry is flush. Whenever a woman gets out of line and tries to accept herself, the concern trolls leap into action to ensure she knows she is not accepted; her body positivity is an excuse and sends the wrong message. With a cudgel in hand, they attack.

I don't know how Keely endures this onslaught. I seriously don't. She will be battered verbally until she submits. Pierce is seen as courageous just to be seen in public with her, but they don't see her enormous bravery and strength by exposing herself to the ugliness she knows will come every time she steps onto the red carpet. All so many see is the size of her body, and in the end, that is really the shame. 

(photos Getty, Instagram and Alamy)