How I long for the bygone days of couch-jumping and maniacal laughter. No, for reals. Ever since the writers and actors went on strike, all of your favorite celebs are no longer on the promotional ho stroll making fools of themselves or being tacky. Ergo, celebrity gossip isn't just in the crapper, it's an unsinkable molly brown - or a brown trout of, let's say, the Piers Morgan variety. Eeeow! No one wants that.
How do we know this? Because all the gossip sites are straining really hard to come up with stuff now that the stars are hunkering down - or protesting, God help us, like Susan Sarandon. Take "Page Six," which today has this earth-shattering news: "Barbara Walters' Last Words!" Which are the none-too-earth-shattering, "No regrets. I've had a great life." That's not just a crumb parading as a story, it's your grandfather's flaky beard dandruff and sputum dotting his dark blue shirt. What else does "Page Six" have? More on alleged child abuser Ruby Franke. That's not gossip, thats a fuck-me-sideways-with-a-monkey-wrench horror show and it doesn't count. Neither does their lead story about Derek Hough canoodling with his wife. His wife! WTF? And Derek Hough? Cue *Harpo, who's this woman* gif.
Even TMZ, a usually reliable source of celebrity fuckery, is straining. They're reporting on Travis Barker - such glamour! - who had to cut his tour short with "Blink 182" because of an unspecified family emergency. But c'mon, unless this emergency is a complete head transplant for Travis, I'm not interested. And, oh, yes, there's another story in which "a source" claims that Britney Spears will not be doing OnlyFans, because, let's be honest, save a camera showing her cooter stretched wide with a speculum, we've seen it all.
The only celebrities allowed to speak and potentially give us some decent goss or asshatary are those appearing in SAG-waiver, non-AMPTP productions, like Adam Driver - again, the glamour! - who's promoting "Ferrari," a Michael Mann movie already getting tepid reviews. And what is he talking about? The strike! How he's totally behind it and really supports...huh? Wha? Sorry, but gossip right now is like an awkward sexual advance. You may want it, but it's so clumsy and skird you just want to slap it upside the head.
Which means the best gossip right now is no gossip. It's Kylie Minogue and her verifiably batshit new music video, "Tension." I've no idea what's going on here - someone please explain (or not) - but Kylie looks fantastic and if she's intending to bring back trippy mid-90s club beats, she's succeeded. It's just no substitute for TommyGirl™ jumping on couches and this makes me sad emoticon. For our own sanity, I hope the strikes end soon.
Oof, sorry for the jump scare, hors, but I could think of no better entry for National Crazy Day than this crafty broad . In honor of today's esteemed holiday, let's talk about our favorite craziest celebrities, shall we? Tell us! Whose cheese has completely slid off the cracker the hardest?
Source: Backgrid Here's Megan Fox at the Jennifer's Body screening and Q&A this weekend, which took place at the David Geffen theater in LA. The 39-year old wore a custom Karine Gasparyan corset dress complete with dripping blood beadwork. This is Fox's first public appearance since the birth of her youngest child, Saga Blade, whom she shares with Machine Gun Kelly. What do you think of this look, Peckers? Did she kill it? Heheh. Sources: Elle, TMZ
Welcome, music slores, to another edition of Manor Music Monday! Wheeeeee! It's time to sing, to swing, and to gather up some fun music to play for peeps at Thanksgiving and during all your wintertime celebrations - because jazz vocalists make every holiday better and I won't be told otherwise. You can't live on "Jingle Bells" and Mariah for the entire holiday season, right? So if you're searching for some festive tunes to play during the season that everyone will enjoy, just click the Manor Music Monday tag and thumb through the posts. Meanwhile, tonight at the Manor's "Milf n' Cookies" lounge and dinette (try the classic lasagna!) (it's meaty!), DJ Li'l Scratch will be playing the vocal stylings of a songstress who started her career way back in 1939 during an amateur talent contest at Harlem's Apollo Theater . Did I mention that she won that contest? Because she did. Everyone loved Betty Roche right from the start. With her c...
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