How I long for the bygone days of couch-jumping and maniacal laughter. No, for reals. Ever since the writers and actors went on strike, all of your favorite celebs are no longer on the promotional ho stroll making fools of themselves or being tacky. Ergo, celebrity gossip isn't just in the crapper, it's an unsinkable molly brown - or a brown trout of, let's say, the Piers Morgan variety. Eeeow! No one wants that.
How do we know this? Because all the gossip sites are straining really hard to come up with stuff now that the stars are hunkering down - or protesting, God help us, like Susan Sarandon. Take "Page Six," which today has this earth-shattering news: "Barbara Walters' Last Words!" Which are the none-too-earth-shattering, "No regrets. I've had a great life." That's not just a crumb parading as a story, it's your grandfather's flaky beard dandruff and sputum dotting his dark blue shirt. What else does "Page Six" have? More on alleged child abuser Ruby Franke. That's not gossip, thats a fuck-me-sideways-with-a-monkey-wrench horror show and it doesn't count. Neither does their lead story about Derek Hough canoodling with his wife. His wife! WTF? And Derek Hough? Cue *Harpo, who's this woman* gif.
Even TMZ, a usually reliable source of celebrity fuckery, is straining. They're reporting on Travis Barker - such glamour! - who had to cut his tour short with "Blink 182" because of an unspecified family emergency. But c'mon, unless this emergency is a complete head transplant for Travis, I'm not interested. And, oh, yes, there's another story in which "a source" claims that Britney Spears will not be doing OnlyFans, because, let's be honest, save a camera showing her cooter stretched wide with a speculum, we've seen it all.
The only celebrities allowed to speak and potentially give us some decent goss or asshatary are those appearing in SAG-waiver, non-AMPTP productions, like Adam Driver - again, the glamour! - who's promoting "Ferrari," a Michael Mann movie already getting tepid reviews. And what is he talking about? The strike! How he's totally behind it and really supports...huh? Wha? Sorry, but gossip right now is like an awkward sexual advance. You may want it, but it's so clumsy and skird you just want to slap it upside the head.
Which means the best gossip right now is no gossip. It's Kylie Minogue and her verifiably batshit new music video, "Tension." I've no idea what's going on here - someone please explain (or not) - but Kylie looks fantastic and if she's intending to bring back trippy mid-90s club beats, she's succeeded. It's just no substitute for TommyGirl™ jumping on couches and this makes me sad emoticon. For our own sanity, I hope the strikes end soon.
Getty Images Happy Sundog, y'all! Today we're doing a road trip, as is traditional on Sunday, only instead of ending up at Grandma's house for hours of boredom with your cousins and food in every shade of beige, we're going to Landes, France, a century ago. And we're gonna get some nice sweaters while we're there. Now a surfing capital and tourism destination, a hundred years ago it was mostly marsh and forest. The hard-working sheep herders of the local marshland got tired of wet feet, as one does. The land was great for grazing sheep, but not so good for the humans who looked after them.So they decided to watch their sheep on stilts (the shepherds, not the sheep. Sheep are terribly clumsy on stilts) and as they strode, stilted and majestic across the marsh, they knitted and spun the wool from their own flocks. I tell ya, the shepherds of Landes musta been hella coordinated! Science Photos As you can see, the stilts were of the hands-free variety, and shep...
"W Youth" just released its first ever issue, and to celebrate they decided to assault our eyeballs with this photoshoot of Justin and Hailey Bieber acting like they love each other. I'm assuming this magazine is meant to be like "Teen Vogue" or something. Are the youths really that into this couple? I guess Hailey is an "influencer" but it still seems like an odd choice, as are the photos, which apparently the two took themselves. I guess it's good they didn't have some stranger in bed with them. How considerate. Wow. Source: W Youth Magazine Photo Credit: Hailey and Justin Bieber
Saw this the other day and as best I can figure out it's a 1974 Volkswagon Bus. There was a ton of great tv shows, movies and music in 1974, including this monster-hit: When I was looking up the top songs of '74 I saw that title (MFSB-TSOP:The Sound Of Philadelphia featuring The Three Degrees), it didn't ring a bell with me at all, but as soon as it started playing I recognized it--it's a great song and I never hear it on the radio. So lets get it onnnnnnnn, it's time to get down--after all, it's Open Post, darlings! Photo Credit: AK
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