90s Nostalgia, Posh Spice, Cool Britannia and Beckham Docuseries
Cool Britannia was the rage of the 90s. |
I watched the docuseries Beckham by Fisher Stevens (Michelle Pfeiffer's boyfriend in the early 90s) on Netflix and came away with thoughts about the family and my adopted country. It surprised me that it is a promising docuseries; even if I would like to ship Brooklyn, his wife, and his mother in an airless cargo container to a Third World port, it was captivating. It captured a pre-911 pop culture world that underscores the entire series.
I had to brace myself because David's voice is like they clipped his balls after his first penalty kick. That voice rivals Mike Tyson's and is equally imbued with a slightly, nay, more like ear drum abusing accent that, mixed with the voice, sounds like they are voicing an animated movie and are method acting the holy shit out of it and refuse to let it go. I can't bear to hear David Beckham speak. I would rather have a fingernail yanked out than endure his bebeh voice. I survived it, though, mainly because a lot of other people spoke in between the scenes with him with charming accents from Continental Europeans, Scots, Latin Americans, and English people with normal voices.
David Beckham 1999 |
2000s Beckhams with David serving intense Beckham face. I am so deep. |
Surprisingly, the 90s scenes with Victoria and David when they were young were relatable. I understood that all-consuming passion, yearning, and longing for the person you love when love and lust first bloom. The sheer obsession is off the charts when the fire burns equally between two people. So that was touching, and Vicky B seemed human back then, smiling, and even came off endearing. It was bittersweet observing a 90s world when we were different and still a little naive. I had not realized how far away from those times we are, or at least I forget sometimes until I hear a song or see a show or photo from back then.
In the 90s, I loved the leaving the clubs photos of celebrity hookups, new couples, and bleary-eyed stars stumbling to their cars, trying valiantly to look sober. The Glamazons, JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, slip dresses, Seattle, Grunge, Waifs, and TMZ started to rise and have wild footage of drunk club patrons in the middle of the street doing outrgeous and amusing things. Absolutely Fabulous could only have been conceived pre-911; London was the hot city, and British models began to take over for a few years: Stella Tennant(RIP), Erin O'Connor, Jodie Kidd and Kate Moss, British Film, Brit Pop and Alexander McQueen. Charles and Diana's divorce and, sadly, her death as she and Dodi Fayed fled from the insatiable paparazzi who were looking for a money shot. Cool Britannia is the official name of what happened in the 90s. Posh and Becks could have only been a product of that decade. When I look back, I am glad I experienced it and glad it was my decade of coming of age.
One highlight was the photos of their purple wedding reception, with Brooklyn in all purple get up as a baby. It was one of the tackiest things I have ever seen in my life. Head pimp and his bottom bitch get hitched must have been the ridiculous theme. I don't know if it is the shade or the fact that they match, but it is infamous and sometimes still laughed at. Vicky B tries to defend it, but no one can make that mess, not a garish eyesore. They sat on purple damn thrones, and I laughed like a loon, slapping at my husband, who laughed and slapped back. This must have been when they were full-on footballer and Essex girl living in the Golden Triangle in Cheshire, where all the prominent footballers and their Page 3 WAGs live. (For Australia, it is like the Gold Coast? ; for America, maybe Miami if all the elite football players lived there)
I mean...Who thought this was an idea. |
Nowadays, Victoria puts on a bunch of airs, but the footage tells the story of how her accent changed over time and became more and more refined, but David calls her out time and time again when she tries to appear too uppity or fake humble. Hmm, how is it your accent changed, and you haven't even had elocution lessons, he asks rhetorically. Busted, and he wants people to see. I am not like her, he seems to say. I speak the same as I did when I was 13. I still remember my roots; unlike you, I am proud of it.
For Americans, our accents may provide the region or city we grew up in; maybe if our grammar is fucked up, it tells you something about class. Usually, for the most part, that is all. For Brts (from an American looking in who found this fascinating), it tells you everything about someone's origins, class, stereotypes, and even neighborhood, and it is hard-baked in their DNA and identities. David was not going to play along, and he was not having it, and when she tried to say she grew up working class, she stumbled a little. David opens the door and makes her confess she went to school in a Rolls Royce in the 80s. Not exactly working class. I laughed my ass off at how he interacts with her now. There is a little bite in his words(he had revealed they had a disagreement earlier); she deserves it.
Matching leathers... is a choice. |
Often, they contradict each other in their own scenes like they hadn't even lived a life aware of the feelings of the other, and in the scenes together, she tries to act like they are all loved up, tentatively touching him, which is awkward. This, my dears, is a man who has checked out of his marriage but has a Faustian Bargain. They are a brand, and apart, no one would pay either as much attention. Vick, and B especially, would wither and die if no one cared about them and no paps were around to catch her all dolled up, ready for her moment. They still want to be the king and queen of the prom, but it could be better. It is also abundantly and starkly clear that all of it is contingent on David, and when it comes down to it, he is in the driver's seat. It used to be her, but something flipped as they aged. He doesn't say anything particularly positive about her now, not like his eyes light up when he speaks of their past and his kids. Their energy is discordant, and a few times, I pitied her. Honey, sweetpea, he isn't touching you back, but he has affection for Harper, so he can do of it.
Linda E looking pretty in pink. |
Nuclear Wintour appeared in the series very briefly as a reminder of when Anna hilariously iced Vicky B out for nearly a decade before a thaw toward her happened after celebrities started wearing her knockoffs. Her acceptance of her opened the door for more famewhores that shall not be named, making American Vogue a running lousy joke. She was all in now, in her way, but when asked if she liked football, well, her answer was a very cy, ."o." In the 90s, Vogue was more discerning, declining as the 2000s progressed, fully jumping the shark in the 2010s. I don't read it anymore, the American version, because I can't bear the models, and the editorials are boring.
#FreeHarper |
*This sums them up nicely; I couldn't have written it better. (funny take on Brooklyn, too.)
(photos:Getty, Beckham, Netflix, British and French Vogue, WireImage. Instagram
The html did weird things so I double-checked and it was indeed strange. Now fixed)
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