How Much Would You Pay to Look Perfect? Some think it is worth risking their lives.

Bella the Nepo Frankenmodel is the header because I didn't want to throw a jump scare at you, but it is still an example of a lot of plastic surgery. She's on the verge of taking surgery too far. She's paid 100s of thousands for painful, risky procedures. Was it worth it when she looks like a well-preserved 45? Good job! If anyone says it is just makeup, I will visit you and stab you because no amount of cosmetics does that. I was a makeup artist and am very aware of the limitations. So there!

The pressure to always look perfect, young, fit, and beautiful can be overwhelming. These days, social media is full of Face Tune and photoshopped images flooding the internet with simulated-looking people posed to look their best using their most favorable angles and lighting; it can make one feel like this is what they should also look like. For some of us, we look at them, know what we are looking at, and wave it away for what it is, never allowing it to become some out-of-control ideal that only a clown or someone in the special effects department of a major studio would find inspiring. Yet, other very pitiful people look in the mirror and see something so ugly they go to extremes, and still, others are desperate to look like a celebrity; both of these examples crave positive attention, and for both, there is never enough. Unfortunately, they are like Narcissus, staring at his reflection frozen and enthralled; they fall into the water, submerged forever, and die. 

Luana Andrade 

I was prepared to feel sorry for the Brazilian Influencer slash "model" Luana Andrade until I found out why she died. The already pretty woman wanted liposuction on her knees. ON HER KNEES. Absorb that for a minute. This fool went to get fat sucked out of her knees, something went wrong, and she died in a totally hundred percent avoidable way. She saw something imperceptible to the naked eye and paid the final price for beauty.

If you decide to go to South America to get unnecessary procedures, Brazil is nearly ground zero for risky plastic surgery, maybe behind Turkey, where the doctors will do anything you ask, no questions asked. Need a 3rd BBL, then go to Brazil; want enormous balloon breasts, someone in São Paulo will do it. Just fork over the cash in Istanbul, and you, too, could look like the Incomparable. The Exquisite British Diamond- Katie Price. I am surprised she is alive since she is 78 percent Cyborg at this point. 

A facelift gone left.

Pretty before and freaky at 45.

Who can have just one, Katie!

Another one who went too far is Christina Ashten Gourkani, known as Ashten G. She became famous on the Internet as a Kim K "lookalike" on Only Fans. At 34 years old, she went one surgery too far and had a cardiac arrest hours after another needless procedure, and it was one injection too many. In a hotel, an unlicensed "practitioner" injected her massive ass with most likely subpar "pharmaceutical" black market silicone, and it killed her. Already, she had disfigured her body by supersizing her chest, hips, and backside, but it wasn't enough. No, she wanted more to attain a perfection that does not exist, probably never realizing how grotesque and deformed she looked. The unsavory woman who had performed the procedure, Vivian Gomez, has since been arrested, but that is a cold comfort to anyone who loved this woman. I do ask why anyone with three brain cells would go to an unsanitary hotel room for a procedure? Bootleg plastic surgery never turns out well. I guess she never watched Botched. She should have, but then she would have seen the botched people as looking like beauty queens and ideals, so scratch that.


Ashten G wasn't the only Kim K wannabe. Mexican American "model" Joselyn Cano, 29, mother of two, died after flying to Colombia for one of the most dangerous plastic surgery procedures a person can have; a Brazilian Butt Lift. All that fat is ripe for some complications as globs of it can travel straight to your heart and kill you, but dammit, at least they died with enormous fake asses. Two children weren't enough to anchor her to reality, and a perfectly attractive formerly featured Sports Illustrated model died by wanting more. More beauty, more ass, more Kim K, and eventually, hopefully, more fucking attention. You got it, Joselyn, only you aren't around to soak it in and parade around preening because you died.

Joselyn Cano

The absolute worst of this bunch is Pete Burns of the 1980s band Dead or Alive, who literally took the band name to a miserable but avoidable ugly end. Burns had so many plastic surgeries that it eventually led to his death in 2016. After 300 procedures, you read it right: 300 procedures on one body, his teeth had to be removed because he'd had so many lip injections that they destroyed them. He didn't die looking beautiful; he looked worse than Wildenstein, and that's a feat worthy of a platinum medal. While looking at the list of unfortunates, his photo made me nauseous because his head and face look monstrous, like a demon ejected from the bowels of hell in a horrendous night terror. I can't believe he went to a surgeon who was an actual accredited physician. No Harley Street doctor would touch that. Pete went to someone without even a tiny bit of morals and ethics, someone or plural, who kept taking his money when clearly a severe mental issue was at play. He needed therapy, not a misshapen fun house mirror face where the fun house is actually the most frightening Halloween Haunted House in the universe. 

I am so so so sorry. At least I didn't enlarge it.

Recently, NSYNC's Joey Fatone has been making the rounds looking like he was raw-dogged by a frisky hellhound, showcasing that he got surgery and sharing with the world that men always get it! Thanks for the heads up, band boy. Who knew Joey? We just thought Michael Douglas's ears meeting in the back of his head was some kind of freak accident in one of Chicago's deadly wind tunnels. Robert Redford aged all funny because of Sundance Film Festival stress and super glue. Did he never see Michael Jackson's disappearing nose and aggressive chin cleft? 

Joey Fatone

I am sorry to say to Joey, but I can barely tell he has done anything to himself. He still appears like he's a decade older than the 46 that he is. He looks like he's the shifty older brother manager with boy band dreams derailed in an unfortunate incident in a New Jersey nightclub in 1987 and forever lives vicariously through the band. He secretly does all the dance moves in front of a head-to-toe mirror in a Timberlake wig while singing Bye Bye Bye. No offense to Joey (no one should be called Joey over the age of 18, and I am being generous), but you got played. At least he survived since, as we see, that is not always the ending for extremely vain people with a sense of beauty that makes no sense. It results in the extreme people looking like they should be in a Belle Époque traveling freak show circa 1879. Now that I think about it, Joey, way to be subtle; who cares if it made a difference when you are still among the living.

If I sound cold, well, I am; there are so many ways to lose your life that you have no chance to avoid, but this is totally and completely by choice. These people went to extremes and paid the ultimate price with their lives in the pursuit of beauty that only they saw in the mirror. There is a line where plastic surgery can boost someone's confidence because they lost weight or would like a little tasteful "refresher," and that's fine as long as the person understands that they are having surgery. It isn't always safe, and a person should have realistic goals, for crying out loud, or you end up scaring animals, adults, children, the environment, and alien life forms and begin to haunt all of our nightmares. 

Carmen serving at 92! 

UPDATE: Have you Adriana Lima? What in the ever-loving hell did this pretty woman do to herself? She looks like Bjork's cousin, who has edema of the head. Some will say it needs to settle. She looked good before there was no need to touch her 42-year-old face. That Fox eye trend is unfortunate because some people are getting surgery to fix the look for life, which is very, very bizarre.


(photos Shutterstock, Getty, Instagram, Italian Vogue, blogs reposted from ?)

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