BLAST FROM THE PAST: Boone's Farm

By

 

Photo: Cellar Tracker.com

In the world of cheap wine, there's only one product that staggers to the top of the heap like no other:  Boone's Farm.  This elixir of the gods occupies a special place in gas stations mini marts, liquor stores, and other purveyors of cheap booze. Boone's Farm is the granddaddy who paved the drunken path for others to follow like Four Loko, Mikes Hard Lemonade, White Claw and even my favorite California Coolers (which doesn't exist anymore). Boone's Farm was THE beverage of choice for drunken hijinks. As one would expect, the history of Boone's Farm is wrapped in a brown paper bag of treachery, subterfuge, and savvy business thinking.  

EJ Gallo is the maker of Boone's Farm. The company is still family owned and manged by descendants of  Joe Gallo, Sr. and 2 of his 3 sons Ernest and Julio Gallo. The company was started after Prohibition by Joe Gallo Sr. He set out to build a wine empire that would mass produce cheap wine for people who lived in the fringe of society. Yes...that was his actual goal.  Despite his business success, Joe's life was in shambles. He and his wife died in a murder-suicide in 1933. 

Joe Gallo Sr. and his wife. Photo: Find a Grave.com

Joe Sr.'s estate was to be split evenly between his 3 sons: Ernest, Julio, and Joe Jr. However, Ernest and Julio had other plans and decided to create their own partnership to screw over Joe Jr. To extend an olive branch to keep the peace with Joe Jr., Ernest and Julio decided to hire him. But then Joe Jr. started using the family name to sell cheese. This enraged Ernest and Julio who then fired Joe Jr.  Well, Joe Jr. wasn't going to take any more of their crap. He sued and the 3 brothers engaged in a vicious, long-ass legal battle for many years that ended with Ernest and Julio winning. Defeated, Joe Jr started a farm called Joseph Farm; and from what I was able to find, he lived a quiet life.

After the dust settled, Ernest and Julio continued pursuing their dad's dream to create an empire that produced cheap wine. They introduced Boone's Farm in 1961. Their first product was an apple wine that used fermented apples instead of grapes. Over time, additional flavors were added including the popular Strawberry Hill. Things were going well for them until 1991 when the US Congress raised the tax on wine by 500%. It forced Gallo to reformulate the products to skirt the new taxes. They switched from being flavored wine products to malt beverages. This legally changed the classification of the products along with the taste. But you know what? Booze hounds didn't care. And today, they still don't. As one super fan from Syracuse, New York wrote on the Boone's Farm fan site:

"Nothing goes sitting naked in the dark watching Golden Girls reruns on mute while listening to REM's "Everybody Hurts" like six or eight bottles of Boones". 

Photo: The Thrillist

Today, Boone's Farm continues to be the beverage of choice for connoisseurs of second-rate wine who appreciate a good hangover. You can find the products at most convenience stores, supermarkets, or liquor stands. And, if you can't, then ask any teenager hanging outside a Smokin' Joe Liquor & Tobacco Outlet. Their varsity lineup includes:

  • Snow Creek Berry: a medley of berries that will lead you to talking to the cops at 2:00 am.
  • Strawberry Hill: flat Sprite mixed with cough syrup with the smell of a sweaty car back seat.
  • Apple Wine: a blend of sweet & tart apples that will evoke a steady stream of life' regrets. 
  • Blue Hawaiian: a pina colada that had a one night stand with a cotton ball soaked in Everclear.
  • Sangria: grape juice fermented with mystery fruits and some Sunny D in a pickle barrel.

Julio Gallo died in 1993 in a car accident. He was 83. Ernest Gallo died in 2007 (he was 97).  Joe Jr. died in 2007 from a series of strokes (he was 88). Ernest's and Julio's kids and grandchildren run the company.  Below is an old Boone's Farm commercial. I'd say that Joe Sr. dream of building an empire that prides itself in selling low-brow wine was achieved.


Source:  Mashed.com; Thrillist.com; The Takeout.com

 

 

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

OPEN POST: Little Girl Looking Downstairs at Christmas Party

By
Image
Can you hear this painting like I can? Hone in on a conversation; what are they discussing? There's music playing; what does it sound like? There's an aroma in the air; what does it smell like? Who is your favorite guest? What's their name? What are they wearing? The little girl at the top of the stairs - what does she think of it all? Who are her parents? How long has she been there? Why is she there? How long until she's discovered and sent back to bed? Decades have passed; does she remember this night still? BTW, looking for Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post? It's  RIGHT HERE .
Read more

OPEN POST: Happy Solstice, Peckers!

By
Image
  Here we are: the shortest day of the year, the longest night. Nature is slowly but surely continuing its cycle of rebirth and we will see brighter days ahead. It's the perfect time to reflect on the past year and consider what kind of light you'd like to bring into your life. A time of hope and renewal. I wish you all a happy Solstice! Source: Flux Image BTW, looking for Peckerwood's Weekly Lunocracy Post? It's  RIGHT HERE .
Read more

OPEN POST: Manor Music Monday With Barbara Cartland!

By
Image
Are you off work yet? Are you ready to throw a swingin' party? That means making party music mixes, right? And, yes, you must throw in a WTF song in the middle of the mix just to mess with everyone. For example, say you're throwing a New Years Eve party with a bunch of cooler-than-cool jazz or house music tracks; in the middle if it, throw in this song . I guarantee everyone will squeal with delight. In fact, throwing that song into any mix is always a good move.  Want more ideas for WTF songs to drop into your mixes? DJ Li'l Scratch has got you covered. But first, let's pause for a moment. This is important. Why? Because this is the definition of beauty: The face: like a pale, English Cream Custard (which is just a bit overcooked). The jewelry: made from the finest diamonelles money can buy. The eyes: with their exquisite baby tarantula eyelashes (the eye shadow is their after-birth). I'm overcome, I can barely breathe. And, no, this is not RichBitch. She is, of c...
Read more