IN PRAISE OF: Nita Talbot, The Sly, Comic Sex Bomb Of Movies And TV!

She was smart, she was sexy, but she was never famous. Nobody went to see movies because she appeared in them, and even on TV, she was never the draw. I grew up in the 1980s without cable. There were three networks, two PBS channels, and two one-horse local channels that showed oddities, or obscure old movies like "My Friend Flicka," but also old cartoons, and my own personal favorite, episodes of "The Little Rascals." I watched a lot of reruns and it felt like Nita Talbot was everywhere. In fact, she was the only reason I could ever sit through "Hogan's Heroes."

"Now I have to tie you up and knock you in the head."

"Oh Hogan, you CARE!"

I always gravitated to the bad girls on TV. I don't mean murderesses or awful people, I mean rude or silky, funny bitches. I read and loved all the "Little House on the Prairie" books, but the TV show was lame as hell (the only time it was interesting was when that spiteful little twat Nellie Olson showed up). Similarly, I had to watch "M*A*S*H" because my mom loved it, but the only time I ever paid attention was when that loudmouth broad Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan (Loretta Swit) was onscreen. She was hilarious, and she was always screaming at someone, and my little gayling heart had a massive crush on her.

But back to Nita. There's not a ton of info about her online beyond the basics. One of her first credits was as an extra in the camptastic, 1950 girls-behind-bars drama, "Caged." Starring Eleanor Parker (one of the worst actresses of all time, and I say that with affection, but good Lord, she was awful), it also featured Peckerwood mascot, Agnes "Endora" Moorehead, as well as Hope Emerson. Find this movie and watch it immediately!

Like all the great character actors - and that's what Nita was, a character actor - she showed up in seemingly any given film/tv episode/project and was just wonderful. Like other character actors, she may not have been the star, but you were always happy to see her. Like Peter Lorre or Gladys George or Sidney Greenstreet or Hattie McDaniel or Edna May Oliver, they were reassuring to audiences in their familiarity no matter what they were in.

For instance, she lifts up the 1962 Dean Martin/Lana Turner dud, "Who's Got The Action?" Had it been a half hour episode of "I Love Lucy," it might have been great. As is, it's just sorta..meh. But Nita got all the good reviews as the mobster's girlfriend. She's cute, funny, sexy - and she wasn't even the star.

In high school, I used to skip class a lot (I always felt overwhelmed in a classroom; in fact, sometimes I'd leave during lunch hour, walk several miles home and just wouldn't go back). One such day, I got home and put on the TV (my mom was at work). 1965's "That Funny Feeling" was on. I have no idea if it was good or not, but I enjoyed it. Sandra Dee's the star and she's cute and likable, but again Nita is the standout. She's smart, self-aware and funny. I haven't seen it since but, if I remember correctly, roommates Sandra and Nita are aspiring actresses who live in an apartment so small they have to move their beds just to answer the phone. 

For some reason, I'd assumed she'd long since passed, but I'm delighted to share that Ms. Talbot is still with us at age 93. She appealed to my little gayling self (and still does) because she effortlessly knew how to combine funny and sexy and lightly bitchy - all at the same time. I've no doubt she could have been a major sex-symbol but for the fact that you could always tell that she thought everything was ridiculous, and when you're having that much fun, who the hell has time to be a movie star?

Photo Credits: Getty Images; Bing Crosby/CBS Productions; Alamy