OPEN POST: 1,500 Species in The Animal Kingdom Should Have Pride Parades

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The mating habits of humpback whales has long been a mystery; the first time it is observed it happens to be two male whales. One male is smaller and was heavily pursued by the bigger whale for a full 35 minutes before he gave up and let his suitor ravish him. Maybe he didn't like being a bottom. The bigger male penetrated the other whale, hugging him with his fins and making the little one stay still so he could have his way. Copulation among humpback whales has long been a mystery. Well, it is a mystery no more. It is Fire Island under the sea, folks, complete with gogo boys and butch leather daddies pursuing twinkles. 

Whales aren't the only species who have shown this behavior. A whopping 10 percent of rams don't want anything to do with ewes. They prefer a Friday Night in West Hollywood or Sunday Brunch in the Castro. No ladies need apply. These rams won't mate with ewes but are enthusiastic when it comes to other rams. 

Amazonian Dolphins, Grey Seals, and so many others join the Rainbow Tribe. I saw for myself once at a gator park down south run by this swamp dude gator wrastler. We did a swamp tour and I was so miserable and people looked at my family like we were Victorian circus freaks. We...er...didn't fit in and stood out like a nun at a Peckerwood Happy Hour, Cali in the swamp. 

So we were looking and saw an alligator on top of another alligator. My dad's hair was long back then and he usually gives no fucks and he didn't that day either. My mom in her usual friendly way asked if it was mating season. So there was a surly, misanthropic looking man in "weird" clothes, four unimpressed kids and my mom trying to make us interested. It was hot as hell, and the air was so humid we were damp and wilting, and my little brother started whining. 

The man in charge, the wrangler, wore a trucker hat, t-shirt, sunglasses, and cammo shorts; he wasn't sweating. He goes, "Naw, them two boys there. We can't get 'em to stop".

I could barely understand his accent, but that made me interested. They looked so contented with one on top of the other. I am not sure what was involved, but something was going on. So, the humpback whales doing it reminded me of that, and it didn't surprise me at all. 

Photos: Pixabay, SWNS

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