OPEN POST: Peckerwood is Haunted; Hosted By Sir Whiskersey Kittypants.

Did you know that Peckerwood is haunted by a gang of Victorian ghosts? Those rattles and creaky floorboards aren't residents sneaking to the kitchen for 2 AM nachos or tawdry meetups in the cloakroom. Nay, my friends, these ghosts also want in on the fun or have lived here since the manor was built and are trapped because they feel they are the real owners and we are simply their guests. Besides, our antics amuse them, and they are ardent fans of Bendyboys and Caza's power ballad karaoke nights. Don't be afraid. Our ghosts won't hurt you except for Millie the Grouchy Fishwife. 

Sir Whiskersey Kittypants would love to introduce you to them, and one in particular may surprise you. 

Why yes, that is Charles Dickens. No one knows why he is
here. He won't say, but he's suspiciously always around
when it is time for the nude male revue. 

Consuela and Guadalupe, aka Carrie and Lucius, they like to pretend
to be South American heiresses shipwrecked off the coast.
Really, they are Canadian missionaries who fell in love and ran away.
Why Lucius is in drag is anyone's guess. 

Can you guess who is Fishwife Millie and who is her
long-suffering sister Agnes? Millie, you see, drinks. A lot. That
bottle of old Scottish whiskey is for her. Those broken plates? Millie.
That sudden pinch you feel on your arse? Millie when she's drunk.
Agnes does her best to control her but she prefers to follow Valtrex
around.

Mr Liotard, the inventor of the leotard. He secretly teaches our 
pets tricks. He has no time for humans. He thinks we
are beneath him.

The Victoria and Albert lookalikes who conned their way
into one too many upper-class manor houses and are still
hiding. The jig is up but sometimes they put on airs. Fishwife 
Millie likes to point out they are both from Whitechapel. 
Their horrified expressions make Millie laugh, it is the 
only thing that does. 

Sarah, the delusional would-be bride. She thinks it is amusing
to steal clothes, sing, and whisper in the hallways. That faint laughter
is her. She's harmless but playful. Her career as an actress has
left her rather dramatic and longing for one more debut. 





Sleep well.