EVENING NIGHTCAP: College Move-In Day For Celeb Spaws. Michael Madsen Arrested. Stop Shoving Shit In Your Mouth: Alicia Silverstone Edition. Who's Next JLo?

 

► The right of passage from a know-it-all high school student to a freshman pleb at college is underway for celeb spawns. First up is Suri Cruise, who 18 years ago was gracing the cover of People Magazine with Dawson Creek's "Joey" and Xenu's favorite cha-cha heels collector Tom Cruise. How time flies. Today, Katie and Suri were doing to college dorm pap stroll during move-in day at Carnegie Melon University. Carnegie is a private university at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania that is extremely difficult to get in (10% acceptance rate). It's also mega expensive, about $62,000 / per year (tuition only).  Anyhoo, Katie was dressed like she was getting ready to hang laundry on a clothesline. Suri has no idea what she wants to major it; but I'm willing to bet it won't be Religious Studies. On the other hand, that would be a great way to tell her father to shove his CO$ crap up his no-no hole. 

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise during move-in day at Carnegie Melon University. Photo: Page Six

Next up is Violet Affleck, daughter of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. The two exes made it a family affair by dragging the family to Yale University at New Haven, Connecticut. Violet has been very vocal about wearing mask in public. So much so that she appeared in front of a committee at Congress to discuss the issue. Like Suri, Violet has no clue what she wants to major in. In case you're wondering, Yale is a private university and cost about $85,000 / per year (tuition only) with a 5% acceptance rate. That means unless you have a perfect ACT or SAT score, straight A's,  a high school resume that includes a school project of how you split the atom in a homemade accelerator and solved the middle east crisis in an afternoon, plus $1 million dollar donation your parents made, your chances of getting in are about as good as converting Tammy Cruise to Hare Krishna.  Read More and Read Some More

Ben, Finn, Jennifer Garner, and Violet during move-in day at Yale University. Photo: Patriot Pics/Backgrid/Page Six

Comment:  My college move-in date consisted of dragging an old trunk and a suitcase. My dorm room was the size of a gas station bathroom and smelled liked one. My roommate was non-stop talker. When I say talker, I mean 24/7 and could not take a damn hint to STFU.  Also, it was post-Animal House movie, and of course the dorms were party city central. In my second semester I got my own room and it was much better. My undergraduate experience was sub-par mainly because my courses sucked since they were huge auditorium classes and campus was a non stop party atmosphere. Hey, I like a good party and getting shit faced...but this place went overboard. Plus it was controlled the frats and sororities and that's not my scene. When I went to grad school...much better. People were serious and didn't treat it like a glorified day care for bored rich kids.

 

► Actor Michael Madsen (of Reservoir Dogs) and brother of actress Virginia Madsen, was arrested in Malibu, California on domestic battery / domestic violence charges against his wife, DeAnna. A spokesho for the actor said that, "it was a disagreement between Michael and his wife that hopefully will resolve positively".  Uh-huh, tell that to her face. Michael has a track record of shitty behavior including multiple DUIs and being arrested for getting into a fight with his son. Michael posted a $20,000 bond and is out roaming the streets humming to himself, "Stuck in the Middle With You".  Read More

Michael Madsen, undated photo: Photo: Getty Images/Deadline.com

Comment:  Michael has been a mess for years. What was once a promising career a long ass time ago has turned into forgettable straight to video crap. He's gives off vibes of mean, angry, asshole who yells at kids for stepping on the lawn.

 

► Alicia Silverstone who has made a name for herself over eyebrow raising behavior that includes chewing her food and then spitting it out to feed her son ("bird feeding") has done it again. She uploaded a video of eating something she found on a bush  while traveling in England with no clue if it was poisonous or not.  Who doesn't go around picking random shit off a bush and shoving it in their pie hole. Tik Tokers  suspect it was probably a Jerusalem Cherry which are very poisonous. But she didn't listen. Alicia said:

“OK, I’ve discovered something that I can’t figure out what it is, and I need your help,” Silverstone told her 4 million-plus followers in the clip. “I just bit into it because it was on the street, and we were discussing whether this was a tomato or not.”

BTW, since eating whatever the hell that thing was, she has not been heard from.  

Comment: How many times did you parents tell you not to put stuff in your mouth that you don't know what it is? That lesson must have skipped over Alicia.

 https://twitter.com/Italianshiiii/status/1825735721530818893?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7  Ctwterm%5E1825735721530818893%7Ctwgr%5E979ac4942db09254ac3b7b1f0fa876b254a6fc%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffpost.com%2Fentry%2Falicia-silverstone-poiso nous-fruit_n_66c4ba5be4b0972f8ace92b5

► Finally, the wait is over. Jennifer Lopez-Noa-Judd-(Almost Affleck)-Anthony-(Almost Rodriguez)-Affleck has filed for divorce from Ben Affleck.  They lasted 2 years. Actually, 1.5 years since they were separated for the past 6 months. I predict she will start dating a politician, tech billionaire, or go back to Alex Rodriguez. Who should be husband #5?  Let me know.

BTW: Check out our own DARKSIDE'S POST for more!

Photo:  Slate Magazine

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