EVENING NIGHTCAP: What's Going On With Jessica? Tammy Needs Moisturizer. Ryan & The Wrath Of The Internet.

 

► In preparation to release a new album, Jessica Simpson (44) decided to have an impromptu photo op to show off her fresh as morning roadkill "new look". I describe it as a combination of a Bratz doll, a tube of silicone, wig from Party City, and a dash of desperation all mixed in a blender. The results? A tragic cocktail mess of epic proportions. Jessica told her fans, "I can't wait for you to hear the soundtrack of my soul". Uh-huh. It will probably sound like the screams emanating from a haunted house. In case you're wondering, she released her last studio album in 2008. Read More

Comment: When I saw these photos, I thought it was Kim Zolciak. Whatever Jessica is doing to herself, she needs to stop. She looks terrible. Don't get me started on her wardrobe. WTF is with those tacky platform boots from Frederick's of Hollywood clearance bin?

Jessica Simpson, 2024. Photo: Jessica Simpson IG/People magazine

 

► Since we're on a roll about new faces for a new year...let's talk about what's going on with Tammy Cruise (62). Our favorite CO$ thespian and Xenu's golden ball gag was honored by the US Navy with the "Distinguished Pubic Public Service" award. It's the highest honor the Secretary of the Navy can give a civilian. The US Navy feels that TC's movies about the military (i.e. A Few Good Men, Born On The 4th July, Top Gun 1 & 2, and countless Mission Impossible sequels) have been instrumental in promoting the military. Um, okay. That's all fine & dandy. That's not what got my attention. It was his face. He resembles Jerry O'Connell who had a bad Invasion Of The Body Snatchers run-in with the ghost of Liberace. Read More

Comment: Upon closer examination of the photos, TC needs to invest in sunscreen and industrial strength moisturizer. His skin can has the texture of turkey jerky.  It's P-A-R-C-H-E-D. 

Tom Cruise with US Secretary of Navy, Carlos Del Torro. Photo: Ian West/PA Images via Getty/Deadline.com

Tom Cruise receiving award from the US Navy. Photo: Ian West/PA Images via Getty/AP News

► The wrath of the internet is pounding on Ryan Reynolds and Blake NotSoLively after he claimed his wife was raised in working class family like he was. To double down on his ignorance, he insinuated their kids are being raised by two working class parents. Well, the internet wasn't in the mood for this pile of bullshit. He's being dragged by the short & curlies for his bombastic, tone deaf buffoonery. Blake was raised in an extremely privileged household. Her father was a big time movie executive and her mom was a talent agent. She grew up surrounded by wealth and the glitz and glam of the industry. Ryan's dad was with the RCMP; and his grandfather was a member of the Alberta assembly. That's a far cry from being a working class schlep getting paid minimum wage at at a car wash in order to eek out a living.  Read More and Read Some More

“She was cast in Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants while she was a teen. It’s giving at least middle class. Anyway none of that matters because she’s rich and insufferable now. Bye”.

“You keep using that word, ‘working-class.’ I do not think it means what you think it means,” hit out another.

"'Working class people don’t get married on plantaaaaations' in reference to their 2012 nuptials at Boone Hall Plantation in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina". 

Photo: Movie Web / The Cut /  IG

Comment: Ryan should have spent a few minutes educating himself on the definition of working class. Just because you have entitled 2 halfwits who work and make millions of dollars a year does not make them a member of the working stiff club. Personally, I'm glad that Ryan and Blake are being knocked down their ivory tower gold gilded perch. They were given a free pass for too long. They're so out of touch with reality they seem to living in an alternate universe called Gone With The Wind.