Who is January's Shitbag of the Month?

Source: Eugene Police Department

Our first Shitbag contender is Zachery Ty Bryan. "WHO???" you might ask? Well he was the blond kid from Home Improvement. It seems he's better known these days for his brushes with the law, though. This month Bryan was arrested for second-degree domestic violence. This is only the latest in a slew of arrests since 2020, where Bryan was charged with DUI, domestic violence, and even fraud. Will he ever learn?!

Source: Nick Cunard

Next up is Neil Gaiman. The disgraced author found himself once again accused of sexual assault, this time by eight different women (four of whom had previously spoken out last year). One of the women was babysitting his 5-year old daughter at the time of her alleged assault. Others claim that they had originally consented to sexual activity, but Gaiman engaged in increasingly dangerous and painful behaviours, leaving his accusers scared and uncomfortable. Gaiman denies any wrongdoing, however, his Netflix show Sandman has been cancelled amid the scandal. 

Source: Backgrid

Third is Nazi Elon Musk. The Tesla CEO and all-around POS was so overcome with joy at Trump's inauguration that he did the Nazi salute. Naturally people were horrified and disgusted, but many others immediately came to his defense saying that it was a "Roman salute" or that he was just so overcome with emotion that he made a silly little mistake! Sure, Jan. Musk took to X to say his detractors need to find better "dirty tricks" whatever the fuck that means. 

Source: Getty

Fourth is Jacqueline Bisset. The actress said in an interview with Page Six that she is "unsympathetic" towards women who spoke up during the #MeToo movement. She expanded on this by saying that it's important how women behave. "How you dress, what your subtext is very, very important. You have to be very careful what you put out [there]." She then boasted about she herself has never faced any sexual harassment throughout her career, saying that she was very determined for that not to happen. She said women need to learn to use the word "no." Gee, what helpful advice! If only we'd thought of that!

         

Source: Getty

Our final Shitbag contender is a double deuce: Carrie Underwood and Jewel. Both singers took to the stage of Trump's inauguration. Jewel's fans were rightfully perplexed by her decision, and she burped out some explanation about how she thinks Trump can help end the mental health crisis being faced by the country. Uh, k. Underwood was less of a surprise for many people, however, her performance was plagued with technical difficulties and she had to perform America the Beautiful a capella. She was not paid for her performance and her streaming numbers have gone down as well. Boo hoo!

Peckers, please cast your votes using the poll below. If you have difficulty accessing it, please name your preferred Shitbag in the comments!

 Sources: Us Weekly, BBC, Gizmodo