EVENING NIGHTCAP: AMA 2025 Fashuuun. Mary Lou Gets A Perfect "10" For DUI.

 

► The American Mediocre Awards (Govt Name: American Music Awards) were held last night. Despite being nominated for 6 awards, Tay-Tay didn't win jack shit. Not that it mattered since she didn't attend. She was busy washing Travis Kelce's hair. The ceremony was hosted by Jennifer Lopez-Noa-Judd-Almost Affleck-Anthony-Almost Rodriguez-Affleck-TBD. Having a serial divorcee whose career is in free fall tells you this award show is past it's expiration date. As one would expect JLo had 37 wardrobe changes. Each outfit being tackier than the other. JLo's quest to stay relevant included re-creating Madonna's infamous 2003 MTV kiss with Britney by grabbing a female backup dancer and going faux lezbot (at the 0:50 mark in video below). Seeing a 55 yr old woman trying to be "cool & hip" was the highlight of the event. Given the parade of D-minus celebs who attended, the AMAs can now officially call itself the garage sale of award shows.  Without further adieu, below are some memorable fashions.  Read More

Comment: First up is Benson Boone, who can pass for Elijah Wood's hobbit stand-in at a Jolly Green Giant convention. Someone needs to tell him the porn 'stache doesn't make him look "grown up". It makes him look like an underage rodeo cowboy who splashed a bit too much of dad's Aqua Velva aftershave. Where do I start with Heidi Montag? Between the shellac wig and the blue disco ball jumpsuit, my eyes didn't know where to land for safety. Rebecca Black was dressed like the bride of the drunk Cracker Jack Sailor during Fleet Week. I suggest throwing that outfit into the ocean.

Heidi Klum has perfected the art of being a camera chaser. I have no idea why she was at the AMAs since she's not a singer. Or an entertainer. Or significant. I think she snatched her ex-husband Seal's invite. What the hell what she wearing? Is it a dress? A vest? Anyhoo, the blob of black fabric on the floor next to her must be her tag-along daughter, Leni. That or what's left of Heidi's dignity mimicking as shower pouf. JLo's butt crack was one of the many outfits she wore during the ceremony. Her desperation was clearly showing via raunchy performance and parade of outlandish outfits. The tackiest was the modern-day silver crusader hobag meets hula dancer. JLo is what happens when marginal talent slides downhill with the final stop being insignificance.

Benson Boone at the AMA 2025. Photo: David Becker/Getty Images/The Cut

Heidi Montag at the AMA 2025. Photo: Michael Tran/Getty Images/AFP via Getty/The Cut

Rebecca Black at the AMA 2025. Photo: Penske Media/Getty Images/The Cut

Heidi Klum at the AMA 2025. Photo: Michael Tran/AFP via Getty Images/Parade.com

JLo at the AMA 2025. Photo: Gilbert Flores/Penske Media via Getty Images/People.com

The many looks of JLo at the AMA 2025. Photos: Richard Polk /Penske Media via Getty; Gilbert Flores/Penske Media via Getty/ People.com

► American gymnast and gold medal Olympic champ, Mary Lou Retton (57) can add drunk mess to her CV of accomplishments. She was charged in West Virginia when someone reported a driver in a Porsche driving erratically. That driver turned out to be MLR. She refused a breathalyzer so she was hauled to jail and released on bond. MLR has been courting controversy the past couple of years. In 2023, she was seriously ill and claimed she could not afford medical insurance, despite having a reported net worth of $2 million, plus 2 houses, a Porsche, and a divorce settlement of $1.5 million. Her daughters set up a Go Fund Me which raised $500,000. MRL and her family were heavily criticized when they refused to disclose how the money was being spent. Now we know: pay off her bar tabs and future bail money.  Read More

Mary Lou Retton, undated. Photo: Getty Images / BBC

Comment:  According to the National Highway and Transportation Agency, when a person is finally caught for DUI they've been driving drunk at least 80 times. That tells me MRL has been a sloppy mess for years. I'm just glad no one was hurt due to her reckless behavior. My suggestion to MLR: use whatever is left of the Go Fund Me money and check yourself into rehab. Get your shit together. Her decision making skills get a score of 2 from me.