EVENING NIGHTCAP: Another Arrest For Little Orphan Annie's Doppelgänger. Nikki Sixx Needs A Mirror. Um...Who's Dis?

 

►Zachery Ty Bryan (44) best known for his role in "Home Improvement" and having comic book Little Orphan Annie eyes, was arrested again. This is his 6th arrest in five years. He's on a first-name basis with police. At the rate he's racking up arrests he will be eligible for premier status. That will entitle him access to the express line for booking, his pick of a cell mate, and first dibs on the bunk. Membership does have its privileges. Zach's 6th arrest was for violating probation from a prior conviction for domestic violence. He's being held without bail at Eugene, Oregon. 

But wait! His arrest comes with a bonus. His fiancee, Johnnie Faye Cartwright (32) was also arrested at the same time. She's facing charges that include DUI, reckless endangerment, and other stuff. She tried to run over Zach (with the kids in the backseat) and ended up in a ditch. Awe, ain't love grand. The couple not only share a passion for breaking the law but also collecting mug shots for the family photo wall. This modern day Sid & Nancy share 3 kids. The kids are okay and have been placed with a family member.  A grizzly bear would be a much better and caring parent than these 2 train wrecks. Read More 

Zachery Ty Bryan and Johnnie Faye Cartwright, undated. Photo: FB/Johnnie Faye Cartwright/US Weekly

Comment:  From defrauding investors with a crypto scam to his CVS receipt of arrests, he's carved out a successful career as a criminal. Congrats Zach, you're the envy of the cell block! Let's see how many more times the courts will continue giving him a slap on the hand as punishment. Doubtful this dingus will get his shit together until he does serious time. 

Image: Amazon.com

► Nikki Sixx (67), the bass guitarist of Motley Crue, is raising eyebrows and causing people to cackle out loud with his remarks about rockers and aging and how he has no clue about irony. During an interview with WTHR 13 News, Nikki snorted out this gem that will go down in the annals of rock history as one of the stupidest things that has come out of a person's blow hole with no self awareness:  Read More

"Life changes, man. It's cool that it changes,” Sixx noted. “The thing that I don't like is when I see artists that are still trying to act 25 and they're 65. I don't think that's cool for the fans". 

Photo: Medio y Media / Getty Images/ Yahoo.com

The internet quickly rushed the proverbial stage of Nikki's 2025 Delusional Tour by pointing out a few things that have escaped his mirror. The comments didn't disappoint:

"Says a guy who married a girl 30 years younger then he is, dies (sic) his hair black and doesn’t play live by using prerecorded tracks!" - Todd

"Nikki Sixx is guilty of acting 25. Look how he acts, dresses etc. It's the old pot calling the kettle thing all over again." - Capt Buc

 "The kettle is as black as his wig. Guess it is what it is..." - George

 "We call this graceful look “the casino headliner” coming to an interstate near you." - ThickDuck 

 "...While he still dresses like Jack Sparrow and his lead singer looks like one of the Wayans brothers' characters in White Chicks from so much plastic surgery." - GordoG60

Comment: Oh Nikki...let me introduce you to irony. Don't you realize YOU are that old rocker who is trying to act 25. Look at yourself! You still wear clothes from tours 45 years ago. Your face is barely recognizable from whatever the hell is going on with it. Don't get me started on the Party City contraption you call hair. It's obvious Nikki doesn't own a mirror or lives in reality. 

 

► I had to do a double take when I realized this was Luke Owen Wilson (54) showing off his new orange Kool-Aid  hair during a Christmas parade last week. Luke is normally a brunette. Who knows why he decided to mimic his brother in the follicle department. That back alley illegally blonde dye job ain't doing him any favors. It looks even more ridiculous with the quasi beard. Read More

Luke Owen Wilson, November 2025. Photo: Parade.com