OPEN POST: With That Tacky-Ass Free Magazine From Your Elementary School!

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If you were tiny in the 1970s, 80s or early 90s, you were likely subjected to "Dynamite," a tacky-ass free magazine distributed to elementary school kids nationwide starting in kindergarten, as well as at children's doctors offices, or really any place with which to reach a pre-teen audience. Why tacky-ass? Because it was essentially a massive nationwide free advertising vehicle, which pushed the likes of "Shields and Yarnell," for example, a sub-par network variety show starring married mime performers. And really, who else would give this forgettable Vegas act a nationwide magazine cover but "Dynamite," much less the here today/gone tomorrow actor who played Juan on "Welcome Back Kotter?" I said what I said. 

The magazine also included half-hearted tricks, games and contests, but the focus was mostly on what was later called "advertorial content." Again, this was distributed in elementary schools. When it wasn't trying to push the very latest TV or movie offering, it was simply pushing already established offerings. 


Now you may ask, so what? What's the big difference between "Dynamite" and "People" magazine, which started in the 70s, or "Entertainment Tonight," which started broadcasting in 1981, both of which were puff piece pushers? Simple: children. The advertising industrial complex was not missing a trick, and like the far worse social media companies in the present, regarded eyes as young as 5 years of age as justifiably exploitable. 

For me, the peak of "Dynamite" ridiculousness was its kiddie-oriented promotion of "All in the Family," a decidedly adult TV sitcom. Because when I think content for kids, I think of yuck-yuck comedy about the n-word. Hahahaahaha!

"Dynamite" was advertising trash masquerading as a magazine, but it didn't work for everyone, since many wised-up elementary school kids knew what was what, meaning that there was only one magazine worth reading. 

What was your fav magazine as a kid? Was it "Mad" or "Cracked" or "Highlights" or "Tiger Beat" (or you dad's "Playboy," "Oui" or "Penthouse" hidden under work papers in his home office desk drawer)? Don't be shy. Admit the truth!

Photo Credits: Scholastic Inc., EC Comics/Warner Bros.

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