Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, trollops, to another, very parched edition of "Who's The Thirstiest Ho?" First up, we have America's favorite hot-flashing ingenue, Julia Roberts, who posted a picture this week on her Instagram account celebrating her husband Danny Moder's 55th birthday. Please marvel at the framing and positioning of its subjects, with Julia in a demurely submissive, yet dead-center, position, and Danny, in a higher, yet ignorable, position.  The photo doesn't celebrate Danny, much less his birthday, it celebrates Julia cosplaying a Tradwife . Some stunt, trick! I give an added slow-clap for her yearning, cutesy expression and Danny's serious, manly-man mug, his hand resting paternally on her shoulder, as if to say, "My lovable, dim-bulb wife." The Tradwife theme was echoed when Julia gushed like a Mormon virgin - no chocha, lots of anal! - about Danny and their family to Hoda Kotb, "He's the captain of our ship. Truly. It all starts with Dann