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Showing posts with the label Angelina Jolie

Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho? It's It Brad Pit? Or Jude Law? Or The Great PeePee Water Park?

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Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than a rock-hard crouton that fell from your salad to the kitchen floor three months ago and was nose-butted, then ignored, by your adorable cat - who dearly wishes you'd sweep once in a while, goddammit - so they need all the moisture they can get.  First, behold before and after pics of Brad Pitt , the left from 2022, the right from 2023. Subtle? Yes, I'd say so, especially since many aging male stars lately look as if they've gotten their faces smoothed out on an ironing board. By the way, I'm not starting off this week's post with needless digressions. I simply want to point out that Brad very much cares about his money-making puss - which means that he does, in fact, care about things. No, really. Like all those poor, destitute Hurricane Katrina victims in... oh, wait . Does Brad care about his children? For sure, and definitely mor...

THIRSTY OR NOT THIRSTY? Brad Pitt & Sam Asghari, Plus Boy George and Rebel Wilson! Who's This Week's Thirstiest?

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Welcome to the latest edition of "Thirsty Or Not Thirsty!" First up, we have sixty-year-old Brad Pitt - the movie star New Orleans loves to hate - and his adoring girlfriend, Ines De Ramon, who's a whopping 30 years his junior. But honestly, who's counting when you're an aging, juiced-on-Viagra star and a much younger "jewelry professional" (cough) who's also actor Paul Wesley's divorced, smash-and-trash leftover slop? A girl's gotta keep that money train going, and if this means riding a limp, cum-sputtering meat noodle (she cries "Timber!" whenever he whips it out) so be it.  The moisture-seeking couple were recently spotted on a "special date night" at a Beverly Hills art exhibit. Gossip sites called this a "rare sighting!" of the duo (who of course have them all on speed dial). Yet they weren't the only thirsty star whores at the gathering. There was also Jon Voight - shocker! - and, no, they didn't c...

THE ROVING PECKER PRESENTS: "Brad And Angie Fight Club" by KidL77!

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Greetings, Manor Hors! Periodically, "The Roving Pecker" will present urgent missives from filthy esteemed guest writers. Today's is from Kid77:  I don’t know who originally said, “Nothing lasts forever” but whoever it was, they should amend that shit to say, “Nothing lasts forever except the Brangelina divorce.”  The legally single pair are still battling it out in the courts - still! - and it’s only getting uglier. The last we heard, Brad was suing St. Angie over the sale of her the shares in their French winery, Mirval, to a Russian oligarch, Yuri Shefler. According to Brad, the pair agreed not to sell their shares without getting approval from the other. Brad claimed Angie violated that agreement, and also claimed Shefler was shady AF and had ties to everyone’s favorite shirtless dictator, Vladmir Putin. Shefler denies this and says Putin called for his death (sure, Yuri, take a number). In the current issue of "Vanity Fair," there’s an in-depth article det...