Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than the driest piece of Melba Toast, so your choice will be difficult. First, we have perpetual gold-digging mattress-actress, Sam Asghari, who hit the big-time when he married Britney Spears (code name Backwater Barbie). Almost immediately, she started yapping about family and them poppin' out a big ol' litter of chirruns, which Sam was totally into because who doesn't want to be a bio-dad Kevin Federline once divorce rears its head. Ka-ching ka-ching, and all you have to do is convince the judge that you're the better parent, which, let's be honest, is easier than a dead whore in the case of our Batshit Brit-Brit. But something funny happened on the way to dadimony. Either Sam couldn't spunk inside Britney's no doubt vajazzled vadge - the zircons spell out "Bagina" because that's what she called it as a four-year...