Peckerwood Manor

I can't keep up with Brit and Sam's divorce because the hoopla is outsized, an event we all knew was coming from the beginning. Brit doesn't like the kind of men that stick around; perhaps, they don't like her, and the feeling is mutual. It isn't plausible that a stable man with emotional needs would choose a  stunted aging woman dressed as if the last twenty years had never happened.  Initially, Britney stormed onto the scene as a Lolita in a provocative video for One More Time when she wasn't even 18. Britney and I share the same generation, and our timelines are nearly parallel. Nothing about me was prudish, yet I remember my friends and me talking about how sleazy it looked and wondering how her parents could sanction something so overtly perverted. We knew what the bare midriff, schoolgirl outfit with the messy two ponytails looked like. We knew it was a whisper away from a porn fantasy and the flipside of Clueless' Cher Horowitz.   Her public image has

Twirl, Brit-Brit, twirl. Right to divorce court. Judge Tacky Snatch Weave presiding. In breaking news today, it was revealed that Brit and her leech useless Trumpian twat housebroken ghey husband soon to be wasband, Sam Asghari, are getting de-shackled. Sad emoticon 'n' such, because post-conservatory, Brit's seemed to be doing so well. *cough* Or at least enjoying herself while whirling around half-nudie in her McMansion, circa 1989.  TMZ and "The NY Post" report that the couple's relationship has been toxic (sorry, had to) for quite some time, leading to explosive arguments both in private and in public. In fact, they've come to blows - no, not the fun kind - or at least Brit's been beating Sam (allegedly!) - and no, not the fun way - while only recently, he moved out of their McMansion.  To be honest, even those who were rooting for Brit when her conservatory ended were side-eying her decision to move in with, then marry, Asghari, who's vario

Hold your horses and clutch your pearls. Britney wasn't slapped y'all. No, our lady of fried chicken and bare feet in public bathrooms has no concussion. No, homegirl had enough of Sam and went ahead and slapped herself for not getting a prenup. Okay, not as exciting, but her hand has a life of its own; she did the heavy lifting and slapped her for herself—big difference. Our lady of black eyeliner and white boots probably did not realize there was footage.  A video clearly shows she was not manhandled after all. Victor Wembanyama's security guard did nothing wrong except his job: to protect his boss from tacky girlies with ratchet extensions grabbing him and trying to mesmerize him into jumping in bed and making a money baby. They did their job!  The Las Vegas Police Department concluded that the French basketball player's bodyguard brushed her hand away, and it was the real culprit here. Even her strange British accent couldn't save her from the truth. 'No cha