Peckerwood Manor

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are drier than a forgotten cat dookie left behind the litter box,  so they need all the moisture they can get. First, behold one of many sobbing pictures recently posted to Instagram by Jennifer Garner , who   wants everyone to know that she's down-in-the-dumpity-doo. "Why?" you ask. "Does it matter?" I answer. In other words, isn't it enough that she's sharing her chopping onions face with all of us commoners and poors? But then with Jennifer, never doubt her stealth agenda, since she's made a very lucrative second career out of being The Good Mom who routinely alerts the paps when she's walking her kids to school and posts videos of herself cleaning her cat's butt, all while telling  People Magazine , "My favorite role is mommy! I make sure everyone has a note in their lunch box every day!"  Never mind that she...

Welcome, fellow trollops, to the latest edition of "Who's This Week's Thirstiest Ho?" Today's trio are so dry, they're fossilized, so they need all the moisture they can get. First up, we have Jennifer Lopez, a perennial thirst-hor, of course, but today, we get the added bonus of her mother, Guadalupe, who's best looked upon as a discount Dina Lohan, or just a notch or two above Bradley Cooper's mom,  Gloria Capano , on the look at meeeee scale. Guadalupe, as you'll recall, let it be known far and wide during Jen 'n Ben, The Original Recipe™ that she adored Ben, especially his drinking and gambling, because she liked drinking and gambling, too - and she loved getting papped while doing so. When Jen 'n Ben split up, Guadalupe sorely wished for them to reunite. She didn't say this to Jennifer's face, of course, but to the press. "This is the first I'm hearing about it," responded Jennifer in a genuinely surprised moment...