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Showing posts with the label Heidi Klum

Painfully Dehydrated: Rita, Heidi, Jessica, and Caroline Stanbury (Who you ask? I did too)

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This dress does nothing for her breasts. It makes them look lop-sided. These women are so needy of water that I could not resist writing something, anything, about these cringefests who need to be desired and admired for their beauty and sexiness, and they are willing to pay any price; even dignity and self-respect aren't off the table. They don't give a damn about our opinions or derision.  Unfortunately for the environment,  their massive amounts of desperation are known to suck every H2O molecule out of the atmosphere within  a 5 thousand-mile radius.  "LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!!!" is their mantra and silent chant as they go about finding ways to get their names trending in entertainment news. These women are so fatally parched they even deserve a theme song, maybe Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" from 1978 when Rod was hot stuff, although, to my contemporary eyes, he gives off sleazeball hanging around skeeving on blonde leggy models vibes.   Speak

Post Your Favorite Celebrity Halloween Costumes!

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It's that time of year, when celebrities get to show us their cReAtIvItY with their Halloween costumes, like Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna, who went the edgy route by dressing up as some sort of Hitler stan - and what, exactly? His spoogie slurping prostitot? I give them a C- for effort, but solely for Harry's "I'm A Mess" pin. NOTE: I've been told that they're supposed to be Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen, but I didn't know that Nance had polyester franken lips. Forgive? Do you have any favorite celebrity   Halloween costume picks? Do post them in the comments! Admittedly, there are many to choose from, so feel free to post more than one. Here's a few of my favorites.  Scorsese is making us all aware of the many atrocities committed against American Indians these days, so what better atrocity for the season than noted child torturer Chrissy Teigen as Miss Big Heapum Slag Squaw and John Legend as her cowboy Durp. It's educational! Heidi Klum has m

Heidi, Kate and Denise, 3 mothers, 3 spawn and no charisma

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As we continue down the lane of mothers shamelessly showing off their daughters, we have two mothers dying to make their daughters Supermodels and one...I don't know what the hell the other wants except to make her daughter relevant. Gwyneth has shown off Apple, Jessica Simp, and her kid. I forget her name, and I don't care enough to look for it; Reece and Ava, and others who seem to have no clue how basic their kids are. Now, this trio has thrown their girls into the mix, and either these three mothers have cases of collective broken objective charisma gauges, or they are hoping we won't notice. We notice. Boy, have we noticed that they are pushing these potato children into the limelight with big ugly roundhouse kicks, flinging them without talent or accomplishments into the bright, unforgiving lights of fame. Denise's daughter, Sami, plans on a soft porn career on Only Fans, and to boost revenue, Denise is threatening to join her. Her daughter's last name is She