Peckerwood Manor

Look, it's Amanda Lepore Madonna celebrating the holidays by flashing her stench trench with a cheap Sears Santa by her side during her "Celebration" tour. At least I think that amalgamation of skin, plastic and viscous peen gravy is Madonna, but who knows? Stars! They're just like dried nut custard! Or at least the ones who want you know how desperately - and I mean desperately - they're enjoying the holiday season. Because nothing says hor for the holidays like horing yourself out for you Instagram feed.  Speaking of hors, Nick Canon wants us all to know that he rully-rully cares about all the crotch-droppings of the world, half of which are his, by disguising himself as a Keepin' It Trashy Santa™ at a children's cancer ward in Orange County - because nothing says "Kill me now" like cancer and Nick Canon. Please note the lack of a proper Santa beard, since Nick wants all the children and his fans on the 'gram to know that it's him. Wh

This dress does nothing for her breasts. It makes them look lop-sided. These women are so needy of water that I could not resist writing something, anything, about these cringefests who need to be desired and admired for their beauty and sexiness, and they are willing to pay any price; even dignity and self-respect aren't off the table. They don't give a damn about our opinions or derision.  Unfortunately for the environment,  their massive amounts of desperation are known to suck every H2O molecule out of the atmosphere within  a 5 thousand-mile radius.  "LOOK AT ME, DAMMIT!!!" is their mantra and silent chant as they go about finding ways to get their names trending in entertainment news. These women are so fatally parched they even deserve a theme song, maybe Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy" from 1978 when Rod was hot stuff, although, to my contemporary eyes, he gives off sleazeball hanging around skeeving on blonde leggy models vibes.   Speak

  I want to make sure it is clear that I am not part of the Mommy Mafia. I think  some  parents try their best most of the time, and there are moments to be judgy, and then there are moments to leave people the hell alone. Will the perfect parent please stand up? *crickets* I didn't think so.  On this issue, I am conflicted. Wearing a crop top at eleven is no big deal. Kids should be able to stay cool in the record breaking heat. Yet, I have a visceral reaction to these photos. I silently chanted, "Don't be an asshole mother," "Don't think of predators." and "Don't be the kind of judgy jerk who thinks they know everything."  Right now, celebrity mothers want to show off their daughters on their social media. They are all doing it. Gwyneth to Reese to Heidi Klum to reality stars to...well, you get my drift. It could be an offshoot of starting them on the nepo train to monetize them and compete with other mother-daughter duos. "All aboar