OPEN POST: Turning 44 Or 60 Years-Old This Year? Hold Tight!
"Don't pop the hip, Cassie!" as they say in "A Chorus Line," and whatever you do, don't turn 44 or 60 years old. Why, you ask? Because they're both danger zones! According to a new Stanford University study, our bodies don't age in a straight progression from year to year. Instead, we age dramatically at the ages of 44 and 60. First, at age 44, there are lightening-fast, accelerated changes "on a molecular level" which affect "cardiovascular functioning, lipid metabolism, and alcohol metabolism." In other words, you start losing your ability to process all those delicious vodka stingers, cheese burgers and bowls of ice cream. Can you say, "le fuck?" But wait, it gets worse. In your 60s, the second burst brings "a rapid decline in immune regulation," which means you'll likely get sick more often and have added trouble fighting it off. That cold which lasted a few days in your 20s? It might last up to